Into the Dark
by mikenikes1123
Summary: Bella is changed but her powers cause complications nobody could have predicted. Nobody is safe around her anymore. What will she do to protect the ones she loves from the most dangerous newborn they have come across, herself? Big hit on another site! R
1. Prologue

**This story was well loved at another website and I hope you all enjoy it, too. I think this chapter is a bit boring but it is leading up to the big drama and angst next chapter! Please review! **

**Special thanks to my beta, Twidudeian. You should all thank him for catching my mistakes :)**

_"I'm so sorry. It's almost over."_

A sweet voice was louder than a freight train as the owner's lips hovered over my ears, whispering sweetly, like they knew that I needed them to drown out the screams. The screams...they were so loud. For days now the shrieking reverberated throughout my ears. Blood curdling, as if someone was being slaughtered in the very room I was in with...with what? What could possibly cause this person so much pain? Random thoughts danced in my head as I struggled to understand this person's pain. A dull knife maybe? No. Something worse. I had never heard someone in such agony. Then they stopped. The room was silent. Had the person finally died? Or maybe someone was helping them. _Oh, thank god,_ I thought to myself. Finally some quiet. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind when a tingle spread throughout my body, overpowering the smoldering fire beneath my skin.

Cool hands moved slowly over my skin, putting out a fire that had been burned in my veins for what seemed like years. The cold hands went over all of my pressure points, bringing my blood from a rolling boil to just a dull simmer.

"Thanks for the tip, Alice. She seems to be feeling better." What was happening? They must be talking about the poor person being massacred on the other side of the room. Girl, poor girl. The man had said "she". The man, his voice was so smooth and rang through my ears like church bells. _Edward!_

He was there, in the room with me! And he was helping that poor girl! Wasn't he always trying to convince me that he was a monster? Not my Edward. _Oh, _I thought to myself as I began to put the facts together. The second I felt his cold hands, my blood stopped boiling. The second I felt his cold hands on my skin, the screaming stopped. That was my screaming. I was the girl being killed across the room! I didn't understand. His hands left my skin and I opened my mouth to let out another guttural shriek, expecting my blood to be set ablaze again. I heard Edward inhale sharply as his sensitive ears prepared for the noise. I waited too. But then nothing. Nothing came out. No screams, not even a breath.

My head was suddenly filled with my thundering pulse. It sounded like my brain was throbbing with my heart beat, banging against my ear drums and threatening to deafen me. Then it was over. Nothing, no sounds. Complete silence and solitude.

A second later I felt weightless and confused, like I was no longer occupying my body. I was in a room, lying on a bed, I knew that from before. No cold hands danced over me, no noises flooded my ears, nothing. Black. That was all I could see, black. Was I blind? No! I couldn't be blind. My mouth flew open as I tried to breathe. I felt my chest ride and fall and I finally heard myself gasping for air out of panic. I breathed that way for no more than two seconds before I noticed that it was pointless. As I was breathing, I didn't feel the satisfaction o the pressure being relieved from my lungs. I didn't feel anything. My chest wasn't heavy, begging for oxygen, and my lungs didn't sting like they should. Did I not need air? Why wasn't my body hungrily accepting the breaths I was taking?

I thought about the overwhelming facts tumbling through my consciousness and then let a smile of understanding spread across my lips. This is it; I was changed. Before I could even open my eyes, Edward was beside me on the bed with his hands on my face. I welcomed the feeling and responded with an even wider smile. I was finally changed. I could be with him forever. Forever. Forever used to be just another word in my tattered dictionary, now it was a promise. These thoughts were interrupted by his frantic words, still velvety smooth even though his non-existent heart would have been cracking his chest cavity by now. He was kneeling beside me on the bed and leaning over me with just his torso. The mesmerizing scent of his breath overwhelmed me and my newly acquired senses as his lips hovered close to my nose. I almost fainted. _So I'm still weak enough to be dazzled. Figures._

"Bella! My Bella! You're awake! I thought you would never stop screaming. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. You were in so much pain! Please forg-"

He paused as my eyes shot open and he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, the fingers on his broad palms holding my head gently behind my ears. So I wasn't blind. _Well, I'm still just as smart as ever. Blind. Maybe I should try opening my eyes. _My gaze immediately rested on Edward first, draped over me protectively with his normal apologetic expression. He was always convinced he was hurting me. Well at least now it would be much harder for him. Edward sat back and let me adjust, my eyes then falling on Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme. Emmett and Alice were pushing each other, battling it out to see who could get closer to me. Emmett had his goofy grin plastered on his face and the pixie was bopping up and down as if she were on a Pogo stick. Jasper had his wonderfully calming smile spread across his lips and Rosalie was surprisingly scowl-free. I was a little taken aback by it but I dismissed her for now. Carlisle and Esme were hand in hand, watching me wake with equally warm smiles of satisfaction. The sunlight streaming in between the edges of Edward's custom made curtains, that Esme had designed, bounced off of them, giving off the vampires' signature sparkle. I looked at them all closely for a moment longer before Emmett's booming voice broke the silence.

"Well jeeze, Bell, say something already." Every pair of golden eyes shot a glare in his direction. Rosalie's elbow found itself jabbed into Emmett's ribs, only to be outdone by Alice's stiletto heel stomping on his foot. I chuckled lightly at poor Emmett's painful expression and turned my head to look at my Edward. My dreams during the past few nights hadn't done him any justice. He was more perfect than I remembered. Maybe it was because my vision was clearer now. Flashing me his perfectly crooked smile and grazing my cheek with his finger, he laughed as my breath caught in my throat. I hadn't done it intentionally but my brow soon furrowed and I took on a look of disappointment.

"What's wrong Bella?" Edward looked anxious and leaned closer to me, as if the space between us was what delayed my words.

"You're touching me but you're not...cold. And my heart doesn't feel like it's going to jump out of my chest. I do still feel like I am going to pass out, though," I stated the observation with a slight hint of displeasure. Normally when Edward touched me, it was like my body was jump started. My breathing became irregular and I couldn't feel my legs. I heard a chuckle reverberate throughout the room from the group, amused by my revelation. He wasn't cold anymore. It was a new feeling. The patch of skin that had been graced by his touch was now warm, tingling. i smiled again and erased the negativity from my expression. I was glad to see that he still had _some_ effect on me, a so was he because before I could say another word his lips were pressed to mine. I welcomed the feeling of his marbled lips and sighed.

My hands went to the back of his head and I allowed my fingers to play with his silky hair as I used my new found strength to pull him closer to me. Before my transformation, this sort of passion would be quickly smothered. We would stay like this for no more than three seconds before Edward would have to pull away to prevent my death. Now I could hold onto him for as long as I wanted and it was an amazing feeling. My lips reacted to his as my death grip tightened around his head. Edward pulled his precious mouth into a smile against my kiss and I was sure he was thinking the same thing I was, because he was soon kissing me with a new tinge of passion. The taste of his sweet breath on my tongue was more welcome after three days of sleep as I parted my lips for his beckoning tongue.

I released him from my hold and locked onto his gaze. Forever. We stared into each other's eyes, speaking without words, conveying emotions that couldn't be possibly described with words. Now I knew what it felt like for Jasper and Alice. So many times I had watched the two of them just stare at each other. They never touched or spoke, just stared. Yet, as they gazed into each other's eyes, I decided I had never seen such an intimate moment. Again, my thoughts were interrupted by Emmett's voice.

"Aw, come on Edward, get off of her. Poor Jasper over here is going to bust out of his pants. Anyway, I'm sure Bella wants to see what she looks like now, being that she's one of _us_ now." Another unified chuckle, with the exception of an embarrassed Jasper, and Edward sat back. I had completely forgotten how different I must look. If I looked half as beautiful as Rosalie or Alice I would be satisfied. I never had many complaints about my appearance but we all know that I was no looker. Edward and Mike Newton seemed to be convinced that I was remotely good looking. Edward must have been blinded when he changed. And of course Mike Newton is just plain dumb.

I sat up and placed my feet on the floor. So far I didn't feel too different. I was slightly stiff from laying down for three days but nothing I hadn't experienced before. They all stepped back as I went to the bathroom, Edward close on my heels. He was still protecting me from myself, waiting for a stumble, even though at this time my strength and reflexes would surpass his. I soon found myself at the wall-length mirror in Edward's, excuse me, our bathroom. I was stronger than an ox but the rock on my left ring finger still seemed to weigh down my hand. not in a bad way, just a wonderful reminder that I was forever bound to Edward. I was afraid to look at first, and just watched Edward's fingers draw soothing circles onto my upper arm before I dared look at myself. Edward's lips grazed the side of my neck reassuringly and I looked up at the mirror. Whether I needed the air or not, I gasped as I took in the sight. "I'm...I...I'm..."

"Absolutely stunning," Edward whispered in my ear. I couldn't speak so Edward had finished my sentence. His lips found my neck again and he wrapped his arms around my stomach, inhaling my scent. Was this really me? My once limp, simply brown hair was now full of shine and luster. It seemed to be thicker, too, and about three inches longer. I ran my fingers through my hair and let them rest on my shoulders. just as I had expected, I was pale. But not sickly, just milky and smooth. A smile spread across my lips, still blushingly red, as I noticed the similarities between my body and Edward's. he was still behind me, his muscled forearms wrapped around my stomach, his chin resting on my shoulder. We had matching skin and smiles, both content with my transformation. I critiqued my figure, noticing the new curve my hips had taken on and the subtle padding that was now seemingly attached to my chest. My cheekbones were more pronounced and my face was thinner and more refined. I stared back at myself, a smile still on my face, until I stared at myself straight in the eye. My eyes! Edward had always called them chocolate pools, warm and inviting. Now they were a vibrant red. They had taken on the normal hue for a new born vampire. My hand went to the side of my face and I opened my mouth to speak.

"My eyes are...horrible. I looked heinous." If I had tear ducts, I would surely be crying. Instead my face just twisted in horror.

"Beauty is that which is simultaneously attractive and sublime." Edward's lips caressed the frigid skin just below my ear as he whispered to me. his hands stroked my arms again in an attempt to calm me. His poetic words couldn't soothe me this time. At my lack of a response, Edward whispered in my ear again. "That would be you, love." The rest of the family had left a moment ago. Apparently I had been staring at myself for quite some time. My lashes were thicker and longer, making it appear as if I had on layers of mascara. The crimson hue to my blood thirsty eyes couldn't be hidden by them though, and I was unconvinced that I could possibly be beautiful now. he was unable to read my thoughts but he managed to read my face and turned me around to face him. Edward's hands cupped my face gently as if I could still crumble beneath his touch, and he brought his lips to mine. We kissed for only a second before his lips withdrew from mine and were planted gently on each of my cheeks then on the tip if my nose.

"Isabella Marie _Cullen."_ He stressed the _Cullen _with a smile and I spun the wedding ring on my finger. I stared up into his ocher irises as I tried to believe his words. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. If you had no eyes at all I would still think you were the most beautiful thing on the earth." My brow furrowed at that.

"If I didn't have _eyes_? Edward seriously, you need to get out more." With my words he let out a bellowing laugh and crushed me to his chest, no longer feeling the need to hold back. He buried his face in my hair and kissed me there, holding me snugly. My arms flew around his unbreakable waist and I greedily pulled him closer to me. It no longer felt like hugging a brick wall. Instead, we melding together perfectly and I could truly appreciate every dip and curve of his form. I held onto him like that for a minute or two until I realized I had another reason to be unhappy. My tongue ventured out of my mouth and ran over my bottom lip. It felt brittle, dry. I pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes.

"I'm thirsty. I need some water." My mouth felt like a desert and my stomach felt as if I hadn't eaten in years. He raised his brow and kissed me lovingly, shaking me to my core, before returning to my stare.

"Bella, love, you are not thirsty for water." Edward looked at my apologetically and tried to lighten the mood. "Maybe you'll enjoy mountain lion, too." So this is what it felt like. A burning pit in my stomach, tearing at my insides and scraping for a trace of blood. I shuttered at the thought and clutched my stomach as my knees gave out. My face was contorted to convey my pain and I strained to regain my footing. His vice-like arms held me up and he kissed me forehead gently.

"I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate. You need to hunt though, before you jump the mailman." His marble lips found mine once more before he took my hand, my left. He kissed the rock he had given me just one week before and smiled up at me. "Time to hunt." If his eyes weren't intoxicating enough, I caught the scent of his breath on his last word and almost fell over. My heart swelled at the sight of his smile and I brushed my lips over his before following him out the door.

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	2. Chapter 1

**Woohoo! Now it's gettin' good!**

**Special thanks to my beta, Twidudeian. You all should be happy I have him, or this would probably be kind of painful to read.**

I slammed my foot down on the gas pedal of my car, reaching the desired speed of 130 mph. Unable to deny him anything, I had caved and allowed Edward to buy me the Audi he wanted for me since I met him. A 2009 Audi R8, silver, to match his Volvo, with cream interior that didn't come standard. After all of the special features Edward had insisted on, my gorgeous chariot cost him a cool $135,000. This was pocket change to Edward though, and he refused to give me anything less as a wedding present. I hated to admit it but it was a very sexy little car.

At the time of purchase I had protested, saying if I needed to go that fast I could always just run. Edward and I often raced and I found myself beating Edward by two or three lengths. I could outrun most anything that would be chasing me. But at times like these, I was glad to have the V10 engine underneath me. At times like these, I wished I could cry. Speeding down the asphalt highway like a bat out of hell helped, but crying would alleviate some of the pain. I gripped the steering wheel with iron firsts, cursing under my breath through blushed lips while replaying the fight over and over in my cluttered mind. I had left the windows open, the wind whipping my long dark hair behind me.

_"Edward! Why do you have to be so controlling? I'm not breakable and I'm not a little girl."_

_"Just because I want you to be safe that makes me controlling? Bella, you know I couldn't live with myself if you came back to me with anything more than a speck of dust on your body. I love you, Bella, my wife."_

_"Edward, you are suffocating me! I need to breathe!" _Well not technically, I had thought to myself.

_"Bella, do you hear yourself? You are being utterly ridiculous."_

_"And for a change, Edward, you are being a condescending, overbearing, dead weight." _

_"Bella. I don't understand. I..Bella, I am lost"_

_"Oh, I'm sorry Edward. Maybe I should leave. I'm no good for you, Edward. I'll just __**leave**__. Because that solves __**everything.**__ Of course, I'll always love you...in a way. Apparently, we've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." _

_"Bella..." _At that point, Edward was practically doubled over, the pain from my cruel words and the guilt he felt from that horrible day taking over his body. My words had been eerily familiar, like daggers, piercing through him with such ease that it was nauseating.

_"You're not good for me, Edward."***_

In my fury, I had taken off my wedding ring and placed it on our bed before leaving out the bedroom window. I had said his name with such a sneer that the expression on his face alone would bring me into sobbing convulsions. For the last month of my transformation, Edward and I had gotten into heated arguments more than twice a week. My words began to grow more and more hurtful, the two of us resorting to painful low-blows that only left us sobbing dry tears into each other's arms.

No one ever thought that it was possible to get such a rise out of Edward. During the second week of my mood swings, we went for three whole days without speaking to each other after our worst fight of all.

Like the gentleman he is, Edward made the mistake of holding the door for me. Before I could blink I was overcome with a rage boiling beneath my skin that I had never experienced. Two whole hours and dozens of nasty lashes later, I had explained to Edward that I was sorry I picked him instead of Jacob. After that I was always moody and depressed, often angry and distant. Edward was also growing increasingly irritable and generally upset. The ever supportive Jasper tired himself repeatedly by sending waves of calm and comfort over to us but nothing seemed to work. We officially held the title for Most Miserable Couple, greatly exceeding Rosalie's expectations.

My shoulders shook with dry sobs as my emotions came over me. First the anger, then the bitterness, and finally the horrible realization of what I had said to Edward. How could I say such hurtful things? What could possibly make me think that way about my love, my husband, the man I had pledged my life to? How could I possibly bring that up? Why did I have to resort to that? Never did I hold Edward responsible for the pain the two of us endured during that day, the day he had left. I didn't even feel the pain from that night anymore. Countless nights, Edward and I lay in each other's arms as he apologized profusely for that day. Yet, after all this time, he was the one who suffered the most. And I dared to bring it up again, twist his words against him no less.

A wave of calm washed over me, and I knew it was my own since I was out of Jasper's range. As my temperament switched gears, the ball of my foot moved from the gas pedal to the brake with vampire speed. I slammed down on it hard and spun the wheel simultaneously. Just as fast as I had left I was in the Cullen's driveway. Knowing Edward had heard me ten miles away and was expecting me, I sat motionless in my comfy leather seat, procrastinating. I couldn't bear to see the expression on his face and I wanted to put it off as long as possible. My slender pale fingers found the ignition button and pressed it, the engine falling silent. My face fell into my hands while I thought about the things I had said to Edward, shoulders shaking again. What could I possibly do to make it up to Edward?

My silent heart ached for Edward. My moods these past few weeks had been horrifying. Hell, I was surprised he had stuck around this long. But I couldn't help it, or explain it for that matter. One minute, I was calm and content, sitting on Edward's lap and staring into his entrancing golden eyes. My fingers would dance about his auburn hair, massaging his scalp while kissing the papery thin skin over his throat that I adored. The very next minute a thought would come into my pretty little head and I would turn. I would be overcome with a sudden urge to fight with someone. Without warning, my brain would completely switch tempo. Every one of his actions would disgust me. My thoughts would be pushed aside, taken over by notions I would never create on my own. Like a voice silencing everything around me and speaking without my consent. Edward had tried to understand. He would hum my lullaby in my ear, play our wedding song, anything and everything to bring me back to normal. There was only so much his poor heart could take.

My new appearance was also a topic we fought over. Well, more my actions. During my brief spells of misery, I often took advantage of the fact that I was utterly irresistible to humans. Even though normally I was repulsed at the thought, it was common for me to lure men in just for the sake of making Edward angry. To make matters worse for poor Edward, my eyes acted as a mood ring. For the first week of being a vampire, they were red, as usual. Yet, as my moods shifted, my eye color was just as different and equally drastic. At the time of my worst, tonight, my irises were pitch black, blending with my pupils. Every time I had looked in the rear view mirror as I pulled away, I scared myself. What was happening to me and why couldn't I control it?

Even though my family knew I was home, I escaped their sympathy and Rosalie's glares, entering our bedroom through the window overlooking the scenic landscape. Edward was gone. I could feel it. I knew because I felt empty, and the room felt stale. My ring lay lonely on the bedside table on my side, next to a note with Edward's impeccable cursive scribbled on it. Hesitant to find out what Edward had to say to me, I picked up the note and unfolded it.

Out, not doing anything stupid. Like cliff diving.

-E

_Not doing anything stupid. _Edward would never use the word "stupid" under normal circumstances. I, of course, seemed to bring the best out of him these days. I grimaced and crumpled the note, tossing it into a garbage can with more force than necessary and sent the can flying across the room. Cliff diving. My momentary lapse of sanity had almost sent Edward to his death. I sat on the edge of the bed and remembered the wonderful calm I had found in the rapids that day. I felt peaceful and content, ready to let go of my body and finally be happy again. I had found that happiness again in the form of marriage, but I was in the process of letting it slip away. Even though he was just in the woods behind the house, it felt like he was hundreds of miles away.

Familiarity was what I needed at times in Edward's absence, whether I induced it or not, so I went to the wall of Edward's CD's, all arranged in order of preference. And of course, just as I would suspect, the one I wanted was the first case on the shelf. I swiftly picked it out and walked in a human pace to the sound system in the built in wall unit. Never one for technology, I slowly navigated through the different menus until I solved the mystery of how to press play and put the settings on repeat. The opening melody came on and I began to cry again at the sentiment of the song, our wedding song.

I lay on the bed on my side, looking out the wall length window, staring at nothing mostly, just staring. Alice's light footsteps were sounding outside the door, my back turned to her, and I heard her open it. She watched me, but chose wisely and just let me be. It was understood that I heard her, I could hear her get up off the couch and make her way upstairs, and I knew that she cared. My eyelids fluttered shut but I continued to cry, my cheeks completely dry. How I wished I could cry, release my feelings in pointless tears. Crying was really the only thing I missed. I sure didn't miss my clumsiness, embarrassing blushing, or the fact that I was edible to my husband. But the tears I dearly longed for.

The words to the beautiful song, so closely personal to me, rang through my ears. I bit down on my lower lip to calm my tremors, listening to the song I knew in and out with my eyes closed. On repeat, the song played twice and was midway through the song a third time when I heard the door open again. I sniffled at invisible tears and ignored the intruder who was not at all welcome. I loved my family more than anything in the world, well except for Edward, but couldn't they take a hint?

The song continued to play on and I was lost in it again, catching each syllable and note. Just as the chorus was about to come on between melodies, I felt the bed sink behind me and a straight jacket of arms envelop me. I bit down on my lip harder as I realized who it was, my Edward, and continued to shake with regret. He pulled me closer to him and I helped by wiggling back into the curves of his body. Through my black tank top and his tee-shirt I could feel every contour of his muscled body. My back sank in to every crevice and curve, my butt fitting into the crook of his hip, my legs pressed against his to the very bottom of my foot. We were like two discarded pieces from completely different puzzles that found each other by accident, fitting together more perfectly than thought possible. His lips rested behind my ear and he sang to me as the song played on, his sweet breath trailing to my nose and calming me instantly.

"If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, and illuminate the "No"s on their vacancy signs, if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark."

The song came to an end and I felt him pull me closer, slowly inhaling the strawberry scent of my shampoo. I held his forearm across my torso even harder in response. As the song wrapped around again, I turned in his grasp to face him, now able to stare up into his eyes. I wasn't prepared for their intensity. His gaze bore into me and I tried to read his emotions. Our time together had given me the gift of reading Edward, whether I had a power or not. I watched as all of his emotions poured out of his amber eyes.

The poor boy might as well just put them on a silver platter and hand them to me, the way I was toying with them lately. I shook my head as I tried to find words to express how sorry I was, how badly I had messed up and that I didn't mean a thing I had said. I couldn't let the silence grow longer and let him think I had meant those horrible words.

"Edward I cannot begin to find words to tell you how sorry I am. I meant nothing I said, not one word. You are the most important thing in my life, the reason for my life, and I never, ever felt...Oh, Edward I do not feel that way about when you left. I never was angry with you Edward, never. I just can't explain it, the things that enter my mind, I-"

Edward's lips met mine and I could feel the relief behind the kiss, like he actually believed I had meant what I said. His lips meshed with mine feverishly and I returned it with everything I could muster. We kissed like that for a moment, relishing the feeling of our bodies reunited after the horrible fight earlier that night. My hands went from his shoulders to the back of his neck, knotting in his silky hair that was wild from the wind on his run, his broad hands splayed across my shoulder blades as he pulled me to him.

I parted my lips at his begging tongue and welcomed his warmth. Still holding me around my upper body tightly, he pulled away and kissed my forehead. The strange tinge of relief I felt through his lips made me nervous. He had really believed what I said? Well I believed him when he told me he didn't love me. So I supposed it was the same situation.

"Edward, tell me you did not think that I meant what I said." My voice was just as panicky as his expression had been when I told him I didn't love him anymore. I kissed a trail along his jaw line that traveled about his neck, blowing cool air on the moisture I had left behind and I felt him shudder.

"Bella love, you cannot possibly understand how convincing you can be." He sighed and rested his cheek on my forehead, still holding my body to his. How could I be so lucky? I scream at him and rip his heart apart, and yet there he is. I sighed as well and aimlessly drew circles on his granite chest with the tip of my finger.

"I'm pulling us down. I'm sorry Edward; I love you with everything that I am. I just don't know when it's coming. One minute I'm fine and then the next minute I'm a completely different person. It's like someone else is taking over and I'm just a passenger along for the ride." Shaky, my voice sounded foreign. I was not used to being so unsure of myself, being so unsure of myself in Edward's eyes. Who was this person I was becoming? Edward stared down at me silently, studying my eyes with loving intent. I looked up at him apologetically and opened my mouth to speak again before he interrupted me.

"They are lavender when you're happy. When you are sad they are blue, and when you are angry... they flicker between black and red. It happens quickly, though, so you usually catch me off guard." I hadn't realized that my eyes changed so much. I knew that they were lavender normally. Only a week after I was changed, the horrid red had faded in my irises and turned to lavender. They were striking against my dark eyelashes and milky skin. Mirrors weren't my prime concern when I was angry so I had never looked into my own eyes at those times. Staring into his wistful eyes was sickening. We had hunted recently so his eyes were tawny with satisfaction. Yet, the bruises that circled them were darker than ever, like grey hairs woven into a mother's hair after years of fatigue and worry.

"I'm sure you liked me better as a human." He had to like me better as a human. I was breakable, yes, but I wasn't explosive and volatile. My warmth soothed him and my blushes entertained him. Now, what purpose did I serve? I made the entire family walk on eggshells just so I wouldn't hurt Edward. He had to baby me and make sure I wasn't set off by his words. God forbid we have a difference of opinion. Edward rolled his eyes and smiled down at me amused, this time the smile actually meeting his eyes, and raised a brow.

"Bella, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I think I would still manage to be madly in love with you if you were a _dog_, if only you would have me." I knew he wasn't referring to a Doberman and I rolled my eyes in response, a small smile gracing my lips. I had yet to find a reason why I deserved him. "And as for my family, they adore you and are working on finding a cure, for lack of a better word, for your little condition as we speak." I opened my mouth to protest, my thoughts immediately conjuring up an image of Rosalie glaring at me with gleaming teeth dripping with venom, before he confirmed my idea. "Okay, with the excepting of Rose." He chuckled lightly, even though we both knew he was serious. Edward's lips found the smooth skin just beneath my ear and kissed me there before pulling away slowly, leaving me with a warm tingling sensation that started at my toes and left through the roots of my hair.

Our wedding song continued to play on in the background a few times but was put to shame by Edward's humming as he stroked my hair. I continued to trace the outline of his chest with my fingertips and listened to his soothing voice as he crooned. Edward smiled at me softly and placed his hands over mine on his chest, interlocking our fingers. I leaned up to kiss him on the lips, only to be met with a frustrated scowl from my husband. I never understood why he felt the need to ruin his breathtakingly handsome face with those stubborn expressions of his.

"What's wrong Edward?" I squeezed his hands in mine and waited for a response. His eyes never left mine and I couldn't help but feel panicked. I pleaded for him to answer me with my questioning gaze and waited.

"Hold on a minute." Before I could object, Edward slipped from my grasp in all of .5 seconds. My eyes kept up with him and I watched him move to the dresser and then turn back to me. In a light but still serious tone, Edward asked me to stand up. I happily obliged but I was still worried. Edward and I were chest to face and I could smell his sweet breath escape his lips, beckoning me to come closer. Unable to resist, I stretched up on my toes to catch him in a kiss but I only felt his finger kiss me back.

"Edward, wha-" I paused mid-sentence as Edward caught me off guard by, painstakingly slow for a vampire, lowering himself to the ground on one knee so that he was looking up at me with sincere eyes. Without speaking, he took my left hand in his and just as slowly, slipped my discarded wedding ring back onto my finger. My eyes softened and I swore I could feel tears start to well in my eyes, that I'm sure were the brightest lavender. I couldn't let go of his gaze, following Edward's eyes while he stood up, cupping my face gently and finally kissing me with as much intensity as he held in his heart.

"Don't you ever take that off again." He whispered hoarsely and seriously in my ear as he pulled me into his chest, pain dripping from his voice like venom. I buried my face in his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck in response. I couldn't get enough of his scent. Even through his shirt the potency of his aroma almost knocked me off my feet. My hands slipped to his chest, gripping the soft black cotton of his shirt with urgency. I revealed my face to him finally and brushed the top of my nose along the taught tendons of his neck, then up to his chiseled jaw. He tilted his head slightly so that our lips met. The wonderfully familiar fire that burned beneath his touch began to erupt again, almost jump starting my heart into a beat. At that moment I couldn't have been any more frustrated. With how much I adored him, what was making me so miserable and nasty? The answer to my question came in the form of Alice bursting through the door like a kid on Christmas, scrambling to be the first at the tree. Our door was nearly knocked off his hinges as the pixie beamed with delight.

"Carlisle knows what your power is! Well, not yet. But he will in three minutes." Alice was doing her usual dance of bouncing up and down, side to side, while spinning in circles, unable to control herself when she saw a pleasant vision. She was also probably just trying to show off her new dress that she bought _without_ me because I had told her off. I didn't deserve such an understanding family. Alice was acting like nothing had happened, truly happy at the news that Carlisle could help me. At her words, Edward squeezed my waist tightly and beamed just as brightly as Alice. I wasn't sure if I was more relieved or if Edward was. My hands never left Edward's chest and I gripped his shirt, almost tearing holes into it. Alice's news was music to my ears. Finally, I would have answers.

Edward and I waited in Carlisle's office along with the rest of the group, Edward on one of his leather chairs and me perched on his lap. We only waited for a few minutes but Edward was bouncing his leg impatiently, burning a hole in the door with his eyes. After the expected three minutes, Carlisle gracefully entered his office, not surprised in the least that Edward, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Esme, and I were all waiting for him. A stale silence filled the room as we waited for his words. Jasper began to twitch slightly, unable to bear the weight of everyone's anxiety anymore. I smiled sheepishly at him and Alice held his hand. If anyone should wish I were fixed, it would be Jasper. The poor boy took the brunt of my rage most of the time so I couldn't tear any one's eyes out. I had already unleashed my wrath on furniture in the house and Edward depended on Jasper to do damage control. In the thirty seconds of silence, I recalled a conversation I had overheard after one of my episodes.

_"Edward, I don't know what it is. When she's angry it's like...I don't know. It's nothing I've ever felt before. It's so strong. I get this sudden urge to rip someone's arms off. I mean, God Edward. Then the second it's over I'm terrified."_

_"Is it hard to control?"_

_"It takes about everything I have. The first few times I couldn't even control it. I'm getting better at it though and I've figured out how to draw some of it away from her."_

Edward's sharp intake of a breath woke me up and I looked to the door. Carlisle's steady eyes rested directly on mine and his face looked uneasy.

"Bella, I believe I have a diagnosis." Edward's grip on my sides tightened, surely a reaction to what he heard in Carlisle's mind.

_***Some of Bella's words are bits and pieces of Edward's words in New Moon when telling Bella he has to leave_

**Please review! I'm not sure if I should continue. So far, this isn't very well recieved :(**


	3. Chapter 2

**A little warning for implications at the end but nothing worthy of an M rating. Thanks to Isabellsah Cullen for betaing this chapter!**

My eyes remained glued on Carlisle, who was strangely uneasy. Carlisle was always the one I counted on, besides Esme, to be calm and steady in a situation. After an agonizing millisecond my knee started to bounce as well. Edward's grip on my side tightened, both of us bouncing impatiently in our seat. _Spit it out._ He looked nervously from Edward to me, then back at Edward, than back at me again. As he opened his mouth, I felt Alice's firm hand on my knee and holding it down.

"Districtus Affectus Imperium." Carlisle whispered each word slowly and accurately in faultless Latin. I had taken Latin in 9th grade but my memory of my previous life failed me. I couldn't understand a single word he said. I only knew that it wasn't desirable, because the moment he finished the third word, Alice's hand clamped down on my knee so hard it surely would have been broken if I were human. Before I could move her hand away, my attention was grabbed by a sharp inhale from Edward, his index finger and thumb immediately going to the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut. My eyes searched around the room frantically in search of a family member that would translate for me.

Apparently they all knew what this was. It seemed they were all speaking to Edward, in their thoughts. Even Rosalie who resented my transformation was sitting at Emmett's side, seemingly sympathetic, while Emmett clenched his jaw and expelled a few unnecessary breaths rather harshly. Jasper paced the room and tried to control the heavy air, absorbing as much of the anxiety and nervous energy as he could. I couldn't take it anymore. Even Esme was unnerved. Esme was always the rock. Esme was the one that stayed calm and reassuring during the rapids, for the rest of the family.

"What? Someone please tell me." My shaky and quiet voice nearly got caught in my throat, coming out in intervals of insecure chokes. Alice's lips were pulled tightly into a straight line and she shot a look to Carlisle, who silently asked Edward's permission before answering me. If I could still pass out, now would be the time. An imaginary corset bound my ribs to my lungs and I couldn't breathe.

"Districtus Affectus Imperium." As he repeated the name of my power, Edward tightened his hold on me even more. "Severe Emotion Control. Bella, what you have is a highly, highly intensified version of Jasper's power. You have a very strong control over your emotions. You cannot control the emotions of others, but you can manipulate your own emotions to suit the conditions of your environments." I raised my eyebrows in shock. _That's it?_ That was what they were worried about? I could control my emotions. Good, now maybe I wouldn't be such a mess.

"Well, that's good. I won't be so nasty anymore because I can control it." I looked to Edward with hopeful eyes, only to be met with a pained expression. He shook his head, a piece of his tousled hair falling over his forehead. I gently put it back into place and rested my hand on his chest. "That's not all, is it?" Carlisle shook his head in affirmation and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the door.

"No, it's not. Your emotions are far more concentrated than Jasper's. When you switch your emotions on and off, you will ultimately be switching personalities on and off. Whichever emotion you chose will completely envelop you and it could be dangerous. If for some reason you forced yourself into anger, you will undoubtedly be turned into something unstoppable. A killing machine, if you will. You would become unstoppable to any force. Another vampire would have no chance against you." I flinched at that. A killing machine? Me? 5'4 and 115 pounds on a fat day. Yes, I was stronger than a speeding train, but I still couldn't believe I would be a _killing _

_machine._

My chest began to heave and I felt Edward's hand on mine. I had ripped a hole in his shirt while hearing the news from Carlisle and he was gently prying my fingers from the damaged cloth. Our eyes met and I stared into his, looking for some reassurance in his topaz eyes only to see pain and worry. His hands went to the sides of my face and he cradled me gently.

"Oh, Edward. I don't want this. This isn't what I wanted." I was shaking my head despite Edward's hands and my voice began to shake. Alice's soothing hand rubbing my back was a nice sentiment but I couldn't help but panic. Edward brought my face to his and he rested his cheek against my temple, embracing me in a tight hug.

"It will be alright, my Bella. You will train and learn how to control it. You will be fine, nothing bad is going to happen." I was unconvinced.

I looked down at Alice on the floor and silently begged for something, though I wasn't sure what. Just an answer, a hint, anything. She placed her hand gently on my knee and forced a small, apologetic smile. I felt Edward shift slightly and I turned to look at him. I hadn't seen him so worried before and that scared me more than anything.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happ-"

"No, Bella. You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything will be alright."

"Then why are you shaking, Edward?" I whispered up into his ear softly even though every vampire in the room could hear me. Edward was trembling beneath me, from his cheek pressed to my temple to his thigh under me. I squeezed my eyes shut and blinked back invisible tears, inhaling deeply against his skin. I felt a momentary wash of calm and I pressed myself closer to him. Edward regained composure and held me out away from his body. Carlisle confirmed my suspicion that they had yet to tell me everything about my power.

"Your power is extremely rare and complex. Because of the intensity of your emotions, your power needs time to mature. During the maturing period, you are temporarily Bipolar in a sense. Your emotions go through sporadic intervals of expression. Whether you chose to or not, each of your emotions will be acutely strong at random times and take over your body. When you feel that impulse to tear someone life from limb, that is an "episode". This maturing period, that you are going through right now...it may last anywhere from eight months to six years. You have yet to feel the full extent of your emotions. You are in the very early stages of maturing." Carlisle gave me a small smile that did not reach his eyes, more of a formality in such an eerie situation, that turned out to be more of a grimace. My eyes widened as every word that he said registered in my brain.

Eight months to six years? There was a possibility that I could be a monster, out of control and wreaking havoc on my family for six years. So that's why my family was so upset. I would continue to be a burden on them for up to six more years. Edward knew he would have to baby me, make sure he didn't upset me, treat me like a child. He would have to completely give up his life for a possible six long years. Now I understood why Edward had been shaking and his eyes were so distant. My husband hadn't been upset, he was angry, and understandably so. _He should just leave me now. Before it gets bad. I love him far too much. Pack his bags an-_

"Isabella Marie Cullen, I know what you are thinking. And if I ever catch you thinking something like that again I promise you, there will be consequences." Edward's hands clamped down and he forced my head in his direction, his smoldering topaz irises burning through mine. I shook my head. I began to shake just as he had before, only this time I was shaking from tears. Dry, unsatisfying tears. How could he still love me? He heard Carlisle. Bipolar for up to six years. I would suffer from extreme irritability, jump from one idea to another...not to mention the aggression, pessimism, depression, and the occasional irritatingly happy mood.

"E-Edward you can't read my m-mi-nd. You don't kn-n-o-w what I w-was thinking." I forced out a coherent sentence in between my sobs. My frigid skin burned beneath his touch, scorching me from my toes to my scalp. His thumbs stroked my cheeks, then traced the outline of my nose, traveling down to outline my lips.

"I may not be able to hear your thoughts but I know my wife. And I know my wife well enough to know that she was thinking I am better off without her."

"Oh, Bella no! Nobody is going anywhere and we're all going to help you. Jazz knows how to train you. It's going to be fine, Bella. I would know. And besides, every time you tear your clothes apart in a fit of rage, we get to buy new ones!" Alice tapped her slender index finger on her temple and smiled indignantly. How I would ever be able to repay Alice for her friendship was beyond me. Even though my future was hopeless Alice calmed my nerves. Edward released me and I turned around so that my back was to Edward but I was still perched on his lap. His wide palm rested on my back. I looked about the room to see the hope in my family members. Jasper was helping, of course, since there was no way they would possibly be so understanding after hearing the news. I turned my head sharply at the feel of Emmett's hand gripping my shoulder.

"Don't worry, Bell. It'll be cool. We'll all help. Even Rose. Hey! Maybe we'll get lucky and this whole Bipolar thing will make you stumble around again. It'll be like old times. I wouldn't mind some falling and stumbling." He knew that it was serious and dangerous, and still, he was reassuring me. Emmett nudged a falsely excited Rosalie and she nodded. The gorgeous smile that graced her flawless face was about as real as mine had been when I tried to convince Charlie I was fine when Edward left. I didn't blame her and I wasn't surprised. The only thing stopping Rosalie from killing me then was the fact that I was ten times stronger than her, and the fact that if she got me angry I would supposedly turn into a "killing machine". I was a little curious as to how effective I would be as a weapon but decided against testing it out at that time.

Edward stood and carried me into our bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed with me still in his lap. After I stopped crying, or however close I could get to crying, I stood up and smoothed out my shirt. Edward stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder while kissing my neck softly. I turned in his arms and rested my head against his marble chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. I took comfort in the feel of our bodies molded together. It felt so right, so perfect. We belonged together no matter what. Our bodies were made to compliment each others. Edward rested his cheek on top of my head and swayed with me gently while rubbing soothing circles on my back. Nothing he could do though would stop my mind from swimming with questions. He felt my tension and pulled away to look at me.

"Bella, love, what is it? I know it was a lot for you to take in. You must have some questions." I felt his hands massaging my back still, and it did help me calm down and organize my thoughts.

"Well, yes. Ummm.." I had no idea where to start. "First, how did you all know my power was bad before Carlisle told me about it?"

"It was thought to be a legend, Districtus Affectus Imperium. We've heard about it before but it always seemed impossible. Nobody has heard of the power showing itself in over 200 years. Carlisle hasn't been able to figure out why, but I suppose he will be asking to perform a few tests on you." He chuckled softly and the sound made my insides flutter. Ok, so it was supposed to be a legend. The maturing period seemed to put everyone on edge. What had the legends said? What will I be like? Well, I guessed not too different than my horrible self as I was. My mind raced and I couldn't seem to put together a solid question. Frustrated, I sighed and replaced my head on Edward's chest. It hurt to think that I would get worse than I was now. Edward was too good and too perfect for me and I only repaid him by having violent fits of rage.

"I don't even know what to think. How can this be OK? I'm going to be so dangerous for so long." Edward's chest rose with a sigh beneath my head. His arms unwound from my waist and he gentle hands caressed the sides of my face to tilt my head up to look at him.

"Bella, whatever it is, we will be together. I will always love you more than anything else. You are my entire existence and I walk this planet for no other reason than you. Your mood swings are hardly powerful enough to sway my love for you and I will remain by your side through everything. Please, Bella, don't be upset. I said forever and I meant it." With that he softly pressed his lips to mine in a tender kiss. My heart soared at his words and besides his vows, I had never heard anything more beautiful. Without even thinking, my arms snaked around his neck and pulled me closer to him. Suddenly the kiss was no longer tender but raging with desire and passion. I glued my body to the front of his and he groaned at the contact. God, what he did to me. I felt every nerve in my body tingle and dance with anticipation as Edward laid me back on our bed. I grinned wickedly against his lips and felt him do the same. He pulled away and breathed huskily into my ear.

"You know, Mrs. Cullen, a common symptom of Bipolar Disorder is provocative behavior. What do you say we explore your symptoms a little further?" I couldn't help but giggle before shivering as his fingers danced across my bare stomach, my shirt bunched up above my belly button.

"Hmmm, you do know a lot about medicine Mr. Cullen. Maybe you _should_ do a little research." He chuckled before dipping his head back down to kiss me heatedly. With every soft brush of his fingertips, every kiss from his teasing lips, my chest fluttered and I relished the feeling of loving Edward as much as I did. Still, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before I wanted to kill him again.


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for your reviews! They are my motivation, so keep them coming! And thank you Isabellsah Cullen for betaing this chapter. You should check out her stories. They're pretty awesome.**

One foot after another, I opened up my stride and ate up the tawny Serengeti earth beneath me. My perfect vision blurred as another wave of deep hunger crashed down over me, burning a hole in the back of my throat. Shaking my head to clear my eyes, I pressed on faster. My prey was only two-hundred miles away and the adrenaline pumping through his veins beckoned me. I could have had any other on the abundant plain but he was calling me. The very smell of him drove me insane. He was large, I could tell that. Four, maybe five hundred pounds of pure aggressive power.

It had been three months since Carlisle found a name for my power. Three agonizing months of violent outbursts, deep depressions, and unprecedented happiness. It was also three months since I started my training. I owed Jasper my life. We all did. Jasper took it upon himself to train me these past few months, taking experience from his past and even going as far as to search out other vampires with my power. As hard as he looked, he could only find two other vampires with my power. I didn't understand why it was exactly that he felt so strongly about helping me. Edward said that Jasper was intrigued by me because of the relation between our abilities. Whatever his reasoning, I would be eternally grateful. It had also been three months since I started coming to the Serengeti to hunt, granted I had to earn it by doing exceptionally well during my training. My food of choice: Lion. Fully matured, male. Little Emmett's irritable grizzlies looked like butterflies compared to a provoked leader of its pride during mating season. Absolutely delicious. My family thought I liked the fight. Truth was, I couldn't bring myself to kill anything that wouldn't fight back. I found that if I let my inner "killing machine" take out its anger on a good fight, my outbursts would be less frequent. I was glad for that, even though Carlisle kept promising me that I hadn't seen the true power of my emotions yet.

I picked up the pace. Only two more miles and I would have my catch. Before I knew it I was there, staring into the eyes of my target. My meal wasn't caught off guard. He heard my coming, even at the speed in which I was traveling. Like any defender would, he was standing in front of his family, who were solid with fear. The animals could sense that I was no ordinary human. They knew that I wasn't human at all. A mother lion would defend her cubs to the death. Yet in the face of something supernatural, they were all rendered defenseless. Just like Jacob and his pack of dogs, the pride could communicate without risking a noise. The terrified mothers quietly responded to their protector and gathered the pride's futurity, whisking them away a safe distance until they thought I couldn't see them. Confident that his family was out of harm's way, my opponent paced forward and then stopped, putting only twenty feet between us. His broad chest heaved suddenly as he took in a deep breath. He expelled the air, but with the breath came a deep, bellowing roar. It was angry, serious, and threatening. To anyone else, including a few of my family members, this would have been the perfect time to back out. His battle cry hit me like a brick wall and I smiled. _Is that all you got? _Just as he had, I took a deep breath, though mine was unnecessary. I exhaled. My roar ripped through my chest, tore out my throat, and shredded through my lips. I felt the ground tremble beneath me as I put everything I had into my announcement. I easily put that lion to shame. When I was finished and the ground was still, all was silent. All wildlife had decided to flee, and we were alone, one on one. Then, like a speeding train, I rushed after the lion, him meeting me halfway. We collided in a crash of flowing mane and angry growls. After tumbling around, scratching, biting, clawing, we were still. I released the limp creature beneath me and wiped my mouth, standing up and taking in my surroundings.

I turned to see a stunned Emmett and Alice and an amused Edward, smirking softly. Why were they so shocked? This had been my third time coming to the Serengeti to hunt. Yes, this was the biggest lion I had found so far, and yes he was the strongest I had fought, but I didn't see any significance in this particular battle. My personal shopper stepped forward first with a smile, trying to hide her worry. Her stiletto knee length boots were plagued with dry African earth.

"That was something else, Bella." She looped her arm through mine and chuckled nervously, tugging my arm in the direction we came from, back to the Jeep we had rented that stood a lonely 200 miles away. Her normal perky tone was weighed down with concern. I looked over to Emmett and Edward, begging one of them to explain.

"It was just like always. I hunted. No big deal." My statement was more of a question, a plea. A plea for Edward to tell me that everything was alright and that I hunted just like them, normal. Ever entertained by my antics, Edward pursed his lips as he wracked his brain for an answer that would satisfy me. I shook off Alice and went to Edward, who held his arms out for me, pulling me in once I got close enough. He had hunted already before we left so his cool topaz gaze was steady and calming. I wanted to say the same for me. Except mine weren't. I was a freak. Now that I was worried, my eyes were a bold indigo, caught somewhere between my sad shade of cobalt and normal shade of lavender.

"You're aggression is getting stronger, especially when you are in a combat situation, love." Combat situation? _What?_ So that was what Carlisle was talking about. I had transformed during the chase. At first, I had been eager to catch my prey that rested two-hundred miles away from me. About fifty miles into the chase, something took over and I wasn't myself. I ran faster and harder than I ever thought possible, making it unfeasible for Edward to keep up with me. The wind whipped my face and burned but it only fueled me further. Then there, as the lion roared at me with all of his might, I felt the need for my own battle cry. That earth shaking bellow that tore through my esophagus came from somewhere within me that I had yet to tap into on purpose. Edward kissed my forehead gently and then smiled, lighting up his eyes and almost eliminating any worry I had. Almost. I narrowed my eyes at him unconvinced. That wasn't the reason for his smirk before. Why wasn't he as nervous about the incident as Emmett or Alice? Edward had been so nervous recently every time I showed any sign of changing temperament.

"Is that all?" I raised my eyebrows, slightly annoyed now, holding myself away from him. Even though we weren't touching, my pale skin still burned from where his had been. His crooked grin spread across his perfect lips and he pulled me close, resting his cheek against mine to whisper in my ear.

"It was very...." He answered me in a breathy whisper, causing my knees to shake. He held me close and kissed me below my ear before finishing his sentence. "...._intriguing." Oh boy, here we go. Dazzle away Mr. Cullen... _As he spoke, I felt my knees give out and my eyes widen, Edward pulling me closer to his granite frame. He continued to kiss my neck gently, blowing cool air along my collarbone. Just as I was about to come back down to earth, I heard Emmett's booming laugh followed by a snicker from Alice. My head shot up and I looked over Edward's shoulder at a doubled over Emmett.

"What!?" I spat at Emmett, my words rolling off my tongue laced with venom. Why was he laughing? And Alice, that little squirt. I narrowed my eyes at them and waited for an answer, my arms still draped over Edward's neck, his lips still lingering on my neck.

"Oh, nothing. I just bet Edward that he couldn't dazzle you within twenty minutes of your anger episode. He said he could. Alice and I thought otherwise. Alice even saw you getting mad at him." The bear was chuckling again, his entire frame shaking in heaves. _WHAT!? They bet on me?_ I felt heat rush to my cheeks. I would surely be blushing if I had blood running through my veins. I was mortified. How could Edward do that to me? Emmett was always pulling pranks but Edward? My husband. And Alice! My best friend was even in on it. As much as I knew they loved me, it hurt more than it should have. Edward's hands rubbed my back gently and I felt a lump form in my throat, mortification setting in. Did he think I was some sort of idiot? That he could do that to me and expect I'd want him touching me? I pushed away from him and stepped back twenty feet, arms crossed over my chest tightly, my eyes on Alice.

"Thanks, Alice. It's bad enough my own husband is in on it. But my best friend?" I felt nauseous. Alice and I were closer than sisters and our bond was almost as strong as mine and Edward's, or so I thought. I had yet to figure out why they felt the need to bet on me, like I was some sort of entertainment. Like they were seeing how long it would take for their prey to die if they only slashed one wrist.

"Oh, Bella! It was just a joke. You're over reacting. Come on, let's go to that mall." She smiled and skipped forward to come join my side. As soon as the words escaped her mouth I felt a wave of rage crash over me, tumbling through me like an avalanche. I shook my head furiously, trying to shake it. No matter how hard I tried to fight it off, I felt violently angry. My arms dropped from my chest and fell to my sides, my hands balling into fists. Through clenched teeth, I warned the girl not to test her luck.

"Do not tell me I am over reacting." I spat out each word carefully and deliberately. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at me, almost quivering. So apparently I was scarier than I thought. For the first time, I felt my eyes change. I felt a film come over them, which I was sure was the black rage Edward had told me about. Both increasingly nervous, Edward and Emmett stepped forward. I couldn't shake it off now.

_"Bella...calm down." _I heard Edward's placating voice but saw nothing except for Alice in front of me. I shook my head at him, warning Emmett with my eyes to not take another step.

"Don't come near me, Emmett." I said his name with such disgust that I surprised myself. I needed to stop, to calm down and relax, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to push it away, I was livid. Again, Edward tried to calm me, catching the shift in my eyes.

"Isabella. Look at me." My hands still balled into fists, I turned my head sharply to look at him. I had never seen him so nervous or worried. His eyes were intense yet calm, his mouth in a sharp straight line, accenting the perfect angle of his nose. I narrowed my eyes. My husband. With his amber hair and perfectly sculpted body, amazing intellect, and an amazing ability to love me in such a way that I couldn't stand it sometimes. The man I gave my life to. He could do this to me? How many times had he told me he loved me, more than anything in the world? _How much could he love me if I was just entertainment to him?_ I shook my head slowly, staring him down before averting my attention back to Alice. _So it's funny when I'm the punch line? _Alice decided to try her hand at calming me.

"Stop it, Bella. Relax. You're getting out of control." Her firm words were pleading and normally, the sad tone to her high pitched voice would be heart wrenching to me. Not now. I exhaled sharply through my nose and shook my head. I was getting out of control? Maybe they shouldn't bet on me, make me a joke, humiliate me. Anger took the place of my blood and flooded through me, circulating through every dried up artery and vein, straight through my heart and up into my brain. Before I knew what was happening, I was crouched low to the ground just as my dinner had been during our little foreplay dance. My fingertips sank into the earth and I glared at Alice.

"I do not need to relax!" No sooner had my words hissed from my lips when I inhaled a heavy breath. That same, vicious, ruthless cry that came from me only ten minutes ago made an appearance again. My roar ripped through my chest, tore out my throat, and shredded through my lips, shaking the ground beneath us and rustling the trees for miles. The wildlife took off and my eyes narrowed ahead of me, on my next target. I leaped, sprang from my strong legs and pounced. Just as I left the ground, Emmett and Edward were after me. Apparently with this hostile personality cam an abundance of agility and speed. I met Alice before Edward and Emmett were even remotely close. In half a millisecond I was on top of Alice, pinning her hands down to the ground, my venom saturated teeth pressed against her neck. Alice squirmed beneath me, trying with all her might to push me off of her.

"Bella! Bella, please!" Her pleading voice was laced with tears, terrified to the point where she wasn't even moving anymore beneath me. I felt two strong hands clamp down onto my arms and rip me back. I stood, panting heavily, looking about frantically at my family. What just happened? I attacked _Alice? _My best friend! I didn't even have a chance to stop myself. This urge came over me and I couldn't stop it. And the only reason Emmet and Edward were able to pull me off was because I had let them. Maturing stage or not, I was a monster. I began to shake, not with tears but out of fear, fear of myself, wrapping my arms around my body and falling to my knees, too embarrassed and ashamed to look at any of them. No one spoke. Edward helped Alice up and I could hear her ragged breathing as she composed herself, understandably still terrified. Now I understood why my family had been so upset when they found out my power. This was why. They were upset because I just tried to kill one of them, over a simple joke that I would normally laugh at, and they knew that day would come. Edward could control himself around me when I was a human for how long and I couldn't control myself with my own family, let alone best friend? How could I do that to them? How could I possibly face Carlisle and Esme? I couldn't. That was the answer. _I'm a killing machine._ Looking up from the ground, I dared to gaze at Alice, shaking still with dirt all over her, breaking the ten minute silence we had fallen into. I shook my head and whispered to her, knowing she could hear me well enough.

"I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry Alice." With that I sprang from my feet again and took off, leaving behind my endangered family. I channeled the inner beast that had surfaced earlier and opened my stride. Even Edward couldn't catch me now. My next destination was not Forks, to the beautiful home where I lived with my supportive family. I couldn't do that to them, plague them with my inner demon. We had shared many happy days when I was going through joyful phases, but this was too dangerous. Rosalie was right. I was better off human. _Edward._ The love of my existence. I needed to be away from him, protect him. If I so readily pounced on Alice, what was stopping me from killing my husband in a fit of rage? If I ever got to that point, who would be strong enough to stop me? The killing machine. Carlisle couldn't have provided a better description. I had turned into an unstoppable beast. _It's best for them_. Under no circumstances could I live with the Cullens until I was in control of myself. Only eight months, right? Five more months to go. Burdened by guilt, I ran myself to the airport. _Away. Just until I'm ready..._

My ability to control myself around so many humans shocked me. Maybe it was my desperation, knowing that this would save my family. The small airport was mostly for tourists going on Safari, so there were many small children as well as confused adults I could easily whisk away without a second though. No, that wasn't my mission. At a human pace, I made my way to the ticket counter. The clerk was typing away quietly for a moment before realizing she had a customer. Once her attention moved to me, I heard her breath hitch in her throat. _I'm sorry, you poor girl. I'm dazzling you and it isn't even on purpose. I know how it feels. Don't be embarrassed._ I couldn't help but feel empathy for her. No doubt, my unnatural beauty would be the only thought on her mind for the rest of the day. She smiled sweetly and greeted me in a thick accent.

"Hello! How may I help you today?" Her eyes wondered about my face, taking me in feature for feature. My high cheek bones and pouty lips, piercing indigo eyes framed with thick lashes and perfectly arched brows, all plastered on flawless porcelain skin. Not to mention my hair that never seemed to stir, draping over my bare shoulders. I tried my best to fake a smile, but I had yet to perfect the art of forcing my emotions. I couldn't force happiness after what I had just done. In a plain, steady but plain voice, I answered.

"I'd like to purchase a ticket please. One way." I had only minutes before Alice, Emmett, and Edward would catch up with me. My fingers tapped on the counter top impatiently and the flustered clerk did her best to remain composed.

"Alright, where to?" Oh. I hadn't thought of that yet. I racked my brain for possibilities. Who could help me? Who was strong enough to help me. Then I thought of it.

**Review! I'm not posting the next chapter until I get 8 reviews for this chapter! You can do it, I wouldn't ask if you couldn't. :)**


	5. Chapter 4

**Thanks Isabellsah Cullen for betaing! **

**Ok, this is starting to get good now. Oh, the drama!**

I'll never know where I found the strength that day to sit on that plane and ignore the small child who sat beside me, begging me to seal her fate with bite marks. She reminded me of myself when I was around her age. She had wavy brown hair and rich, gleaming chocolate eyes. Bright, energetic, completely oblivious to the world around her. She was sitting next to a newborn, uncontrolled vampire yet her only concern was the page of her book she was coloring profusely. I watched her as my knuckles turned white, my grasp on the armrests of my first class seat threatening to shatter beneath my grip and give me away. Her pulse rang through my ears like a gong, the steady scent of her blood stream running through my nose and down the back of throat, settling on my tongue. So sweet and tantalizing. My longing for her blood soon turned to resentment. Not for the child necessarily, but to blood as a whole. What it mean, what it symbolized, the only obstacle that had nestled itself between Edward and myself. The very hatred that I felt for it though only fueled my longing for the little girl beside me, her skin so thin, not yet hardened by the elements of life.

I found some reassurance in my control, smiling slightly at myself, glad I could spare the girl's life even though I knew I would never feel as satisfied as I would had I drained the life from her. My smile soon faded as I remembered why I had been on the plane in the first place. I had no reason to be happy. I should have been disgusted with myself. And I was. Edward and Emmett got to me only a second before I would have embedded my teeth into her translucent skin, tearing away at it until she lay limp in my arms like the lion I hunted for two-hundred miles. What scared me the most was the way in which I longed to kill her. I knew all that needed to be done was to dismember the body to kill a vampire. Yet, as I sprang at Alice, my fingers itched to brutalize her, separate the skin from her faint muscle. Alice was the best friend I could ever ask for and I had almost ended her life. I stared out the window, shuddering at the memory of the day. Violent flashes of white, Alice pleading for her life, the astonished and horrified expression on my Edward's perfect face. Edward. I suddenly felt cold and hugged my shaking body. At least it would be no loss for Edward. His wife was a monster, a killing machine that had been millimeters away from devouring his sister. My departure would be the best thing to ever happen to him.

While going through security, I had decided on my new life. I would train and grow, gaining complete and total control over myself and my power, maintaining my vegetarian life style. I also decided that no matter how long I lasted through training, never would I see the Cullens again. Never. How could I? I was sure that they hated me for what I had done. Carlisle warned me and yet I let my emotion take over and control me. My dear mother, Esme. She would be hardest to face. No doubt she would hide her disgust and welcome me into her home, forever in fear of my potential. And Jasper! I had nearly killed his beloved wife, the adorable pixie that claimed him as her own before they had even met. Alice was Jasper's heart and soul, and I had almost devoured her. Never could I see the Cullens again. I thought of how it would be to see Rosalie, her face full of repulsion and smugness. She knew this day would come and the rest of them had quieted her. _"No, Rosalie. Don't say that. Bella will do great." _She was right. Emmett couldn't even deny it now, the strong hope he had before was now pushed aside by the sight of me lunging on his sister like a lion on its prey.

There was no doubt that Alice was watching my future and my decisions. The second my plane landed I had to run, run hard and fast until I reached my destination. For sure Edward would be able to catch up to me. A bitter shudder ran through me as I realized my false hope was ridiculous. Why on earth would Edward want to chase after me? Why would he want to take me back home? And Emmett and Alice? There would be no one chasing after me, convincing me to come back. How could I have been so stupid as to think that they would be following me? I laughed silently to myself, at myself. My slender finger tip traced the bold faced print on my ticket. **Pisa, Italy. **The closest airport to Volterra.A sudden panic washed over me and I felt my chest collapse. _What was I thinking? Is irrational an emotion that can spasm? What about stupid? Dumb? Suicidal? Are those even emotions? What am I getting myself into? _I felt myself shake at the thought of asking the Volturi to train me. What would their tradeoff be? My mind raced and I attempted to get a handle on myself, trembling like a scared child. 100 years of service? Slavery? Would they force me to feed on human blood? Hell, would they even take me? I shook my head and tucked a wavy tassel of silken mahogany hair behind me ear. Why hadn't I thought about this before I got on the plane? I didn't know and I wouldn't know why I chose to go to Volterra. But for whatever reason that was, I was on my way.

Terrified would not have been an appropriate word to describe my feelings as I stood in the dark, dank hall of the Volturi. They sat before me, like a panel of judges as I awaited my fate. A shiver ran through my spine, starting at the small of my back and resting itself where my skull joined my vertebrae, fear coursing through my veins at an alarming rate. The silky smoothness to Aro's voice wasn't nearly as calming as the rest of the Cullens' was. Aro was sickeningly elegant and graceful, moving about the room, watching me from different angles as he took in my new appearance. No matter how smooth he was, I couldn't forget the screaming of his victims the last time I had left Volterra. I had relayed the account of my attack on Alice, explaining to them exactly what happened and my feeling at the time, hoping the more information I could provide them with, the more willingly they would accept me. Why I so desperately wanted to live with them, I had yet to figure out.

Somewhere, in the deep pit of my stomach, I knew that they were the only ones who could help me, human-hunters or not. What frightened me even more than Aro's fluid movements and the gut wrenching glares from Caius was the reaction I received when I told them the name of my power. A pleased, satisfied smile spread across Aro's angled jaw, approving eyebrow raises from Caius and Marcus despite the sneer on their faces. They were fully acquainted with my power, maturing period, and strength. Even the wretched little Jane seemed interested at hearing my talents.

"Well, dear Isabella. I am very pleased to see that you have been transformed by your mate. And just as I thought, you do have a great talent. Your inability to control it at this time does not reflect limitations you might have in the future, I can assure you of that. And your eyes! How wonderfully different it is to see them change so, even as you stand before us, reacting to us, your emotions shifting." I steadied my breathing, begging the higher powers to let me be calm, to not explode in a fit of rage or happiness, whichever bipolar spell my subconscious threw onto itself. My eyes already gave away the fear boiling inside me, I didn't need to confirm their suspicions with an "episode". The papery thin, onion skin wrinkles surrounding Marcus's eyes creased in amusement at my visible internal battle, wondering when I was finally going to crack.

"We have indeed made a decision, but I have to ask you, Isabella, how is it that you are leaving your family? Never before have I felt a relationship so strong as when you were here with your Edward some time ago. The strength of your relationship had been frightening, the intensity. What makes you sure that this is an appropriate decision?" As the name of my husband escaped his lips, I felt a hand reach inside my chest, wrap its fingers around my heart, and squeeze with the power of one thousand horses. _Edward._ My Edward. The man that could make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time, make my skin burn beneath his touch while sting with a blistering chill. He made my knees go weak, yet gave me the strength to move mountains. My Edward. As quickly as the pain had come, it had gone as I separated myself from my family emotionally. No, there would be no one chasing me. The Cullens would not be following me, begging me to return home. Alice knew where I was, no doubt in my mind, but after my actions prior to this, my family would have no desire to see me, not matter how much I longed to be near them. Clearing my throat at the layer of venom coating my tongue, I gathered my thoughts into a coherent answer, attempting to hide the wave of pain that Edward's name had caused.

"I..They're better off without me. I'm out of control and I endanger them. They don't want me anyway. After what I did to Alice, they're happy I am gone." My words came out rushed and Jane snorted at my uneasy demeanor. Even as a vampire, I had the steady cool of a...well...bipolar mess. A pale, long slender finger went to Aro's chin. He nodded slowly and took the hand of each of his brothers, collecting their thoughts on my answer to Marcus's question. A steady, frightening smile played over Aro's face.

"Well, dear Isabella. Felix and Demetri will show you to your room. Just remember what our trade off is. We will not accept regrets." As afraid as I was, a smile crept over me and I nodded, thanking them for agreeing to train me. I hugged my body, wrapping my arms around my sides, and turned behind me to face Felix and Demetri. I had forgotten the way Felix's size commanded presence in a room. Like Emmett, his square frame was threaded with muscle and minimized the average build of Demetri. The robed guards, who were to be a part of my training, stared me down while approaching me, an unfamiliar expression on Felix's face. During my brief encounter with the Volturi before, I had noticed that all except Aro had been incredibly hostile and distant. Today, it felt as though I pleased them with my unfortunate "gift" and moved one step closer to being considered respectable. Felix wore a face of intrigue, watching me curiously as my eyes and body language reacted to every step they took.

"Follow, _Bella_." Felix's thin lips pulled up into a smirk and he put his arm out for me, crooking it so I could wrap mine in his. At the sight of his arm held out for me, my head began to ache and I shrunk back, looking away so that my hair could form a curtain between us. My breath hitched in my throat and I had to cough to clear it. Edward had held his arm out for me that way as we walked down the aisle at our wedding, taking out first step together as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. Demetri's knowing glare shot through me, no doubt relishing in my bout of pain. With a grunt, Felix turned on his heel and followed Demetri out of the great hall and into the main passage way. We silently treaded on, making no sound through the natural echo chamber. The two ahead of me seemed to walk on air, float over the uneven ground beneath us, and I had managed to stumbled once or twice. After moving through different corridors, all equally dim and dank, we arrived at a door, a heavy solid mahogany with solid brass hardware. Demetri turned the knob and pushed it open, walking away immediately, completely uninterested in me. I stepped forward, having been three paces behind the guards throughout our journey, and entered the room. My skin crawled as I took it in.

It was just as dark as the hallway and I habitually searched the wall for a light switch. I found one and cringed at the sight of the newly illuminated room. Cobwebs clouded the corners, climbing the stone walls. The hardwood floor beneath my feet was polished but dusty, showing some promise. My new bed, put there as a mere prop, was a cast iron four post canopy, covered in cobwebs as well, graced by a thick black blanket. If my skin wasn't crawling enough by the sight of my new room and lifeless furniture, Felix's presence behind me had made it worse. He stood behind me, his eyes burning through my skin. I spun on my heel, turning to dismiss him, but was caught off guard by his proximity. He was leaning down to look at me, towering over my 5'4 frame, his face only inches from mine. The contrast between his chalky skin and black hair was suffocating as I was forced to stare into his frightening red irises. I felt my eyes widen and my breath hitch, a shiver of terror shuddering through my body.

"If I can help you with anything at all, Bella, please let me know." He smirked again, mocking me with his tone it seemed, before straightening himself and entering my room. I watched closely as he moved throughout my room, sweeping his hand about the corners, collecting the cobwebs and dust balls. I got another annoying smirk as he moved to my bed, shaking out the dusty blanket and pillow, gathering the cobwebs that clung to the canopy as well. My arms were still tightly wound around my body, my only source of comfort as I watched the cloaked guard float over the floor, cleaning my room for me with a strange motivation. What did he want? Why was he showing so much interest? I looked about the room, a sudden twinge of hope burning in my stomach. Yes, Felix could help me with something.

"Uh, Felix?" He snapped his head in my direction, surprised that I had found my voice after the events of the evening. He raised a brow on his big square head in question, urging me to continue, his one hand still aimlessly sweeping over the cobwebs on top of my canopy above him. "I don't think I will, but um, if I should get any visitors....p-please send them...a-away. Tell them I live here now and I do not wish to see them." It was hard to get out, knowing that those words could possibly be relayed to Edward. Edward would have to hear that I did not want to see him. It was literally the opposite. All I wanted at that moment was to feel Edward walk up behind me, wrap his strong arms around my waist and kiss my neck softly while whispering to me in my ear. I shuddered, silently scolding myself for thinking that Edward might want to speak to me after what I had done to Alice. Felix flashed me that mocking smirk again and nodded, stepping up to speak to me. He stood only inches in front of me, leaning down again to stare directly into my nervously indigo eyes.

"Your Edward would be quite stupid not to follow you, with how nicely you've changed since he bit you. But you need not worry_, Bella_. I will surely send him away if he dares to come and take you away from me, from us." I jerked back, leaning against the wall behind me when I had no more room to move, his slight Italian accent making my name sound almost criminal. And his breath. It wasn't sweet, but bitter. I decided that it was related to his diet. The beast chuckled lightly and straightened, taking one last look around the room for anymore cobwebs and ducked out, winking at me, and shutting the door softly behind him. I shook my head, confused by the attention I had just received from Felix.

I wandered around the room, taking in each foreign feature as I tried to accept it as my own. Before I knew it, I was pacing the room nervously, shaking at the thought of how lonely I felt. I desperately craved the warmth of Edward next to me, the laughter of Emmett and Jasper, even the glares from Rosalie. And Alice. My wonderful friend, former best friend. I wanted her here with me, bopping about the room trying to convince me to buy new furnishings. I wanted Edward on my bed, laying back with his arms behind his head, ankles crossed, grinning my favorite crooked grin, waiting for me to join him. I wanted Esme and Carlisle yelling at Emmett and Jasper to stop fighting. I wanted my family. I fell to my knees, still clutching myself as my body was overcome with violent sobbing. I cried dry tears, silently begging for this to be over. Shaking my head back and forth like it would bring me to my family, I rocked in place, comforting myself like a child. I continued to cry, no longer silent but quiet enough that my new coven couldn't hear me, crying out in a whisper to Edward, miles and miles away in a chilly Forks, Washington.

"This wasn't what I wanted. Edward we didn't plan this. Come get me, please, Edward. Oh Edward." I shook again, my shoulders carrying my heavy breaths as I was racked with sobs, pleading to my husband who couldn't even hear me. Edward would be at home, wishing he hadn't married me, begging Carlisle to get him a lawyer so he could get divorce papers written up. The pain I had felt in my heart at that moment easily outshone the pain I had felt during my transformation. I missed Edward with every fiber of my being and it felt as if it was literally eating me from inside out. After hours of wallowing, I was sparked with a calm and immediately settled myself, thanks to my overbearing range of emotions. _Stop it, Bella. He doesn't want you anymore. None of them do. You almost killed Alice. Get over it. You are no longer a Cullen. _

I brought my trembling left hand to my face and stared at myself in the mirror. I was a monster and there was no way Edward could possibly love me. The ring he had given me on our wedding day glared back at me as it reflecte the light. I sighed heavily and with trembling fingers, removed my wedding ring. I moved to my bed and placed the ring beneath the matress, then crawled up to rest my throbbing head. I would have to ask Heidi to go shopping with me tomorrow so I could gather a wardrobe. Alice would be proud. I _wanted_ to go shopping. But it wasn't for pleasure.

I needed to recreate myself, separate myself from my previous life. If it meant designer clothing that I had sworn off before, then so be it. No matter what, I was no longer a Cullen, no longer Bella Cullen. I closed my eyes and thought over my new life, running the evenings events through my mind. I had arranged a trade off with Aro, Caius, and Marcus. They had been fair with me, allowing me certain privileges. _1) I am allowed to be a "vegetarian." 2)They will train me. 3)I will have to work for my training and I will receive food when I perform. 4)I am on clean-up crew. _Clean up crew. The very thought caused me to shudder. I would accompany Jane and the guards, killing the vampires that threatened to expose us. Clean up crew. I shuddered again at what it meant. As long as I was training with the Volturi, I would be in charge of killing delinquent vampires. _Fan-frickin'-tabulous. _

_**So who guessed it? Well good job. I know, it's terrible. But it gets better. Keep reading!**_

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	6. Chapter 5

**Thanks Isabellsah Cullen!!!!!!! She makes my chapters readable :)**

**Thank you all so much for reviewing! You don't know how happy this has made me! I had such a bad day, because my boyfriend is horribly clueless, and then I read these reviews and I had a reason to smile! Thank you all :D **

_Three months, 2 weeks, 6 days, eleven hours, and 48 seconds. But who's counting. _My lavender gaze settled on the ceiling, scrutinizing the small chandelier fixture above me. I hadn't noticed it before, but for some reason it was brought to my attention that there were small, intricate carvings on the brass piece. Tiny swirls and dips adorned the chandelier, accenting the silk bows that paved the way for the candle-like bulbs in place. They were pretty and dainty with just enough detail to keep them elegant while not too gaudy. _Stop procrastinating, Bella. _I shook my head and hoisted myself up, pushing aside the sheer lace curtain that enclosed my useless bed. I did this every day. I would wait until the last minute to face realty, sitting at my desk or on my bed until the very last minute before I would descend down the long hall that lead me to my trainers for the day. Straightening my shirt and adjusting my pants on my waist, I stood in front of my mirror and fixed my hair. It wasn't necessary, being a vampire made my hair pretty much perfect every day, but it was a futile action I tended to every day to keep some familiarity in my life. My gaze ran from my feet all the way to my eyes, checking each detail on my body, procrastinating further.

I had on a pair of black patent leather pumps, black jeans, and a black v-neck sweater. It made me feel like Batman but for the past three months, I hadn't worn anything but black. I had succeeded in persuading Heidi to take me shopping and we had practically cleaned out every boutique in Italy. I explained to her my desire to recreate myself and separate my new life from my previous. She understood surprisingly well and didn't bother to ask before choosing a wardrobe of all black for me, to add mystery to my appearance she had said. I was thankful for that. I had never had much desire to shop and picking out clothing was probably my least favorite thing to do, let alone design a new style for myself. It also ensured that I never put on any article of clothing that was blue. No powder blue, indigo, navy, robin's egg, not even periwinkle. No more blue.

My clothing wasn't the only thing to completely change. After two excruciatingly long months and with much strenuous effort from Heidi and myself, my room had finally become my own. It hadn't taken much pleading to have Heidi take me shopping for furniture. Aside from obvious differences, I decided that Heidi was fast becoming the Alice of the Volturi. Not only was she just as energetic, but the girl knew how to run up a credit card bill. We had gone through every shop in Italy, boutiques and antiques alike, buying me furniture. My once dungeon-like room was now somewhat enjoyable. I had gotten a bookshelf and continually added to my collection and set up a desk adjacent to it to study.

While living in Volterra, I had found it necessary to learn multiple languages. On my trips outside of our living quarters, I had picked up various books on languages. Italian was my obvious first, and then came Spanish, Russian, and French. Why I chose Russian and French I had no idea. But I then branched on to Latin. Backwards, I know, but from Latin I taught myself German and Polish out of boredom one evening. I had made the decision to keep my new knowledge a secret, glad that I understood people when they thought I couldn't. Felix and Demetri were the easiest to trick. The two could not read minds or thoughts so when they felt the need to talk about me while I was in the room, they resorted to their native Italian. I found the most challenge in not reacting to their banter in fear of revealing my understanding. I had learned a lot that way. For one thing, Demetri was angry that I had made such progress so quickly and was growing more and more jealous with each obstacle I overcame.

I gazed back into my piercing lavender eyes, mesmerized momentarily at their intensity. Rarely did I look at myself long enough to notice, but as each thought flickered through my brain, my eyes reacted accordingly. At the moment, I had been thinking about how nice my hips looked in the black jeans I wore. So my eyes were lavender. Then a split second later I had thought of how my shoulders seemed to be rather square in the sweater. As I thought about it, my eyes began to grey slightly and fade off into a deep blue. They were lavender again as I reveled in the uniqueness of my characteristics. With a sigh and a shrug, I padded off out of my room, closing the heavy wooden door behind me. As usual, I made my way through the dark corridor, making no noise as I sidestepped around the uneven cobblestones and such that posed a threat to my steady gate. Being with the Volturi hadn't fool proofed me, but Aro was delighted to have the opportunity to give me walking lessons. I recalled that said he had never once met a vampire so clumsy. He took it upon himself to teach me how to walk, or more so pay attention to the ground beneath me to make up for my inability to remain balanced. I thought it was more of an excuse to speak with me, being as that he couldn't read my thoughts no matter how much he touched me. And I was thankful for that. Countless times during my training, I had driven my opponent to frustrated screams at the realization that I was simply unaffected by their powers, besides their obvious strength. Jane in particular had been reduced to childish tantrums multiple times and redirected her anger in various Italian slurs and curses. The small girl could make a sailor blush, given the circumstances.

Small things such as that entertained me and distracted me from my hidden feelings. I was learning quickly and had absorbed more knowledge then I thought possible in such a small amount of time. The Volturi kept their word and allowed me to feed on local wildlife, sparing multiple humans that were intended for me. I even found myself smiling occasionally at the competitive bickering between Felix, Demetri, and Alec. No matter how many distractions I had, I could not ignore the unwavering pain I held in my still heart. My body literally ached for Edward. There was a pain shooting through my veins, down each of my limbs, and branching up my spine that held me prisoner to the memories of my husband. I wanted nothing more than to forget him, for his sake. Instead, I lay on my bed, staring at the wall, recounting every word he had spoken to me since my transformation. I recalled every fight I had caused with my bipolar phases, every reassuring sentiment we had shared, everything. Every time I closed my eyes, he was there. I could see every fine line to his chiseled jaw line, every indentation on his perfect muscles, every slight movement of his expressive lips. How I wanted to kiss him, to pull him close to me and wrap my arms around his neck, feel his hands hold my waist or cradle my face, smell the sweet tingle of his breath lingering beneath my nose. But I had quickly learned to push it all aside. Edward would not want me anymore. Never again would I feel those things. I had almost killed his beloved sister. How could he possible want me? He couldn't, that was the answer and I accepted it. I had originally thought that I was leaving for them, to protect them. I soon came to terms with the fact that it was for myself, so I wouldn't have to face them. Them, him. The Cullens, my Edward.

I pushed my way through the door to the lobby and took a seat in one of the leather couches parallel to Gianna's desk. I was greeted with a small, fake smile from Gianna, who was looking rather pensive behind her desk. Normally, she sat there looking indifferent with her intense green eyes, no doubt debating on whether she should run or stay. Even though I was the only vegetarian in Volterra, I frightened her. I hadn't had an "episode" in an entire month but she still saw me as an uncontrolled threat. Strange, the Volturi constantly spoke of how easily they could kill her and I was the one she feared. It didn't bother me. The first time I had met the Volturi I was sure I would need a change of underwear. The one thing that did bother me about Gianna was her hostility towards me. I had tried to remain civil, even though I had the power to shatter her with one hand, yet the petty mortal remained nasty. She constantly annoyed me with questions based on my previous life, no doubt intended on upsetting me, and found ways to spark my anger. Marcus insisted that I ignore her and use her as an exercise in self control. He explained that she was jealous that I had been changed before her and that they had taken me in without so much as an hour of deliberation. This past week, Gianna had seemed to be coming around and her questions were starting to border asking for help with certain things rather than antagonize me. I crossed my left leg over my right and crossed my arms over my chest, wiggling my foot nervously as I stared down at my jeans and counted each stitch while waiting for Caius, Aro, and Marcus. I was in a trance, counting each threaded strand of my denim when her heavily accented voice broke my concentration.

"Isabella? Can I ask you a question?" She stared at me with pursed lips, hoping I would remain calm and patient. I mustered up my self control and patience and answered the beauty with a simple raised eyebrow and a blank face, signaling for her to go on. I hadn't thought about it at the time but I looked rather hostile myself. I had my arms and legs crossed and the intensely blank expression on my face was far more intimidating than any sneer I could throw at her. She shifted nervously in her seat and continued. "Do you regret it?" Her eyes were soft and the sincere curiosity behind her voice was startling. She hadn't used such a tone with me yet but my cruel blank face went unwavering, reflecting the cold person I had become. I thought about her question and could only come up with one answer.

"What does it matter? Can anything be changed now? Will dwelling on the past put you to rest?" The cold tone to my voice was an indication of my opinion on the matter. At my expression and tone, Gianna visibly stiffened. She smiled nervously and looked down at her hands in her lap.

"I suppose you are right." My eyes never left her and I watched as her mental wheels turned, her face changing with her thoughts. If one thought my eyes were as expressive as an open book, then Gianna's face was a book on tape, projected on one universal megaphone. I caught the subtle change in her face as she realized she had sounded anything but nasty in her question to me and seemed angry with herself for being so nice to me. To redeem herself, she had thought up another question for me.

"Isabella? Can I ask you another question?" Her tone was the same as before, this time faking innocence. My position on the couch remaining the same, I answering her just as I had before. I twitched my eyebrow up slightly, my face painfully blank and cold. "Do you miss anything from being a human?" I thought about her question for a moment and then shrugged slightly, my tone still icy.

"Some things." Like being able to see Edward, for one thing. Gianna nodded again and I could feel her start to think up another hurtful question.

"Isabella?" My stance hadn't changed and I remained seated just like I had while putting up with her petty questions. Again, I simply twitched a brow, allowing her to continue, my arms wrapped tightly around one and other. "Do you miss Edward?" At the sound of his name I felt a knife slice through my almost impermeable skin. Gianna was back. There was the nasty question I knew she felt brooding in the pit of her human stomach for days on end. Inside I was sobbing at the sound of his name, aching to run to Forks and settle into his side on our bed, kiss him senseless and cry in his arms as he cradled me. On the outside I was just as solemn and just as calm as I had been before. While I could help my body, I couldn't help my mind.

"Gianna, run. Run away. Run far away before I get up and catch you. Because if I do, I will separate the skin from your body while removing each of your limbs slowly. Then I'm sure I will find some creative way to dispose of your dying body." My words were chilling and sent a shiver through me a the sound of my voice. It took every bit of power in me to keep myself on that couch, keep my arms crossed and not strangling Gianna. My hands were clenched into white-knuckle fists and I watched as she quickly gathered her belongings to retreat to her room. She was roughly five feet from leaving the lobby when she turned on her heel and looked back at my over her shoulder.

"He visits, you know. Every day. He comes into this very lobby and sits on that very couch. He waits for me to allow him through. Roughly two hours a day, random times. You are always out training, though." I sat still as stone while she spoke, a nervous heat filling my body. He came to visit me? Why hadn't they told me this!? Then I remembered. _I told them not to let him in. They told me I wasn't allowed to leave. _Of course they wouldn't tell me. No sooner had she gone when my trainers for the day floated into the lobby where I sat waiting, a reassuring expression shared between the three. I quickly pushed the thought out of my mind and reserved it for later, knowing that Caius would surely pick up on my anxiety and turn my training into a Bella Freak Show Day. _Here we go..._

"My dear Isabella. Shall we begin?" Aro's cool voice soothed my growing temper as we moved off into the clouded daylight. As always, I followed and they spoke, giving me tests and techniques, watching my reactions and helping me through obstacles. I had an intense reaction to a purposely offhand comment made by Marcus to distract me, and it took careful coaching from them to not shred Marcus to pieces. My training had been especially tiring and mentally draining. I had worked on drawing on my emotions purposely, Caius especially helping me pick up each feeling as I asked for them. We worked on the daunting task of commanding my anger, resulting in a scuffle between myself and a local mountain lion that I quickly drained. I was getting better, fast. I had successfully called on my anger and turned on my "killing machine", turning it off just as quickly once I was told to do so by Aro.

Satisfied with my abilities and my control, Marcus had decided I was able to be on my own for an hour or two. I used my time wisely and sat with a book beneath a large tree just a mile away from my new home. My mind got lost in the pages of my book, graciously lending itself to the fictional characters that distracted me from my pains and dilemmas. After forty-five minutes, I had read the entire book cover to cover and felt quenched of my thirst for entertainment. I was also proud of myself for reading a book written in Russian. I could feel the warm sunlight begin to peek through the trees and settle on my skin, heating me to my cold and achy core. With a disappointed sigh, I stood up and began the brief run back to the Volturi. I opened my stride and tested myself, seeing how fast I could run the exact mile back. As a human, I had run a seven minute mile. It was good enough for me, yet average for a person. As a vampire, the fastest I had run a mile was twenty-nine seconds. I opened up my stride and pressed myself, desperate to beat my record.

Inside I was delighted with myself for running the mile in seventeen seconds, but I kept my usual cold façade on as I entered the underground home I had grown accustomed too. I focused hard on my footsteps, working to keep my balance and remain upright. The last thing I needed was for Jane to hear me stumble and give her another fault of mine to pick on. My careful steps kept my stable and I safely made it to my room without so much as a miscalculated stride. I was calmly engrossed in another story, lying beneath the canopy of my bed when the familiar sound of Gianna and Felix caught my attention. The two were always bickering in harsh Italian slang, mostly fighting about me. The daily banter between Felix and Gianna was seemingly normal until another voice interrupted them. It was rich and calm, though horribly hostile and tense and sickly familiar. I rose from my bed, pushing aside the lace curtain and went to my door, opening it just enough so that I may hear the conversation better, being the nosy person that I am.

_"Felix, kindly escort this gentleman outside of Volterra or else he will sit here for hours on end and wait for someone who refuses to see him."_

_"Let him be. Let him wallow in self pity and wait for Bella. Perhaps he should know that she still refuses to see him? Perhaps he should know that I will not give up my Bella so easily and that he would find himself in a great deal of pain should he decide to push my patience?"_

_"She is not your Bella, nor is she your anything. This is absurd. I do not for one second believe that my wife refuses to see me. My __**wife**__. Did you hear me? My wife. I have been here every day for three months and six days and I have yet to hear any evidence to support this. I demand to see her." _

_"Alright, Felix. You may touch him now. But do not hurt him too much. Aro would not be pleased to find that you have hurt Carlisle's son."_

My breath caught in my throat and I suddenly felt nauseous, my knees giving out as I slid down the wall beside my door. _Edward._ He did visit me. He was here, so close to me yet so unbelievably far away. My hands went to my chest as I frantically tried to control my breathing. I had worked so hard to distance myself from him, to drag my heart out of Edward's hands and put it back in my chest. Apparently I had failed. Just the sound of his voice had sent me into a panic attack and I felt my subconscious instruct my body to go to him. Every muscle in my body twitched as I fought to keep myself in my room, to not run to him and staple gun myself to his side. My frigid skin tingled in want, desperate to feel him against me. _Bella, stay calm. Don't do this. He's better off without you. You almost killed Alice. Don't do this._ I became my own cheerleader as I hugged my body, tucking my knees into my chest and resting my forehead on my arms crossed over my knees. I couldn't go out there. Not only had Felix already brought him out of the vicinity but it wasn't safe for the Cullens to be around me. Never could I give in to my own selfish desires to be with Edward and put him at risk of getting hurt. But he had said he wanted to see me. He should hate me, why did he want to see me? _I demand to see her. _Why would he want to see me? Then the thought hit me. He wanted revenge. Edward had come every day to see me to kill me. I had almost killed Alice and he was now coming after me. He had demanded to see his wife to kill her.

I unfolded my arms and spent the rest of my night on my useless bed, sobbing dry tears and silently begging the higher powers to turn back time and put me back with Edward in our meadow, back to the day he had allowed me to see him in the sun. And I smiled through my cries, unable to deny the happiness I felt at the memory.

_Nine months, 3 weeks, 2 days, eleven hours, and 12 seconds. But who's counting. _I sighed softly and sat up in my bed, doing my usual routine of checking myself over in front of the mirror before going out to receive my daily assignment. These past few months, I had not only trained during my time with the Volturi but carried out my responsibilities as a member of the "Clean Up Crew". Every day there was some pitiful vampire that got a little too excited and made the foolish mistake of pissing off Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Adorned in my Batman attire, I flounced out of my room and went on to meet my partner for the day in the lobby. I had perfected the art of walking and managed to make it to the lobby without one stumble. _Only took you nine months, genius. _Jane and Alec were side by side on the couch, awaiting the arrival of the last guard, me. Felix was waiting for me there as well, showing off his venom drenched teeth in that horrible smirk that seemed to be permanently adorning his face whenever I appeared in a room.

"Come, my Bella. We have a wonderful assignment today. It will only require four of us, but never the less, it promises to be entertaining." The cloaked stooge stood in the lobby, arms hanging limp at his sides. I had felt a strange desire to pummel him, knock him to the ground and viciously put him out of his misery. Ever since that day when Edward had lost his temper, Felix had called me _his _Bella. I was nobody's Bella, certainly not Felix's. He stood before me, roughly 6'5 and as wide as the doorway he was standing in. _I can take him. No, that would only anger Aro. I couldn't do that. I owe them too much. But one day..._ I shook my head and went to Felix, awaiting the instruction I was sure to get from Jane, who sat on the couch with her nose in a book, _Interview with the Vampire. _The little brat did have a sense of humor. Never bothering to look up, she gave us the instruction relayed to her from Caius.

"An older vampire new to the area has decided to make a statement and claim the streets as their own. You Bella, will be soley responsible for getting rid of it. We of course will stand by and watch, step in if need be. Although, Marcus and Aro have given specific instruction that you are to take care of it yourself. Marcus thinks it is a woman but they aren't sure." Nothing new. They had been preparing me for weeks for missions such as this and I had even taken part in some of the fighting up to this point. _I'm not ready_. Would I ever be? I nodded and allowed them to lead me out of the walls of the Volturi. As I walked the long corridor to the street, I realized quickly that I was no longer a visitor. I was a member of the Volturi. It scared me slightly, but a strange tinge of pride overpowered the fear. I was accepted and needed in the oldest and most respected coven in the world. I also realized that this "clean up" would be no ordinary task. I would not be called upon if my inner anger would not be necessary. Aro had warned me many times that with my talent came great responsibility as well as need. This vampire that I was about to kill would not go down without a strong fight and I was the only member of the guard that could possess enough strength to safely kill the vampire. So even Jane would not be enough on her own to take down the perpetrator. The task called for my inner killing machine. _Fan-frickin'-tabulous. This is going to be fun. _

**Whew! What a doozie! **

**Ok... so for the reviews... Since you all responded so well, I'm upping it a bit! Yep, that's how happy you make me :) I've become very greedy now!**

**15 reviews! 15! you can do it, I know you can :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**Ok, so I've had some people voice their concerns about how this story will end and apparently I've lost a few readers because they are unsure of the ending. Let me just set the record straight....**

**_BELLA AND EDWARD WILL BE TOGETHER IN THE END!!!!!_ I REPEAT: THIS IS A BELLA/EDWARD STORY!!!! It's just going to be a little difficult for them along the way. But I assure you, BELLA AND EDWARD WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!!!!**

**Thanks Isabellsah Cullen :)**

Apparently there was no rush, because we made our way through the streets at a human speed. Our normal order formed and we strolled together, Jane to my left with Felix on my right as well as Demetri beside him. I looked to the sky instinctively and took comfort in the thick gray clouds that loomed overhead. There was no chance that the sun would peak out and betray us. I found it ironic that as I looked around the square, the very square that had almost been Edward's demise, I was part of the very coven I had feared would take Edward's life. _Figures._ I scoffed to myself in an attempt to shake off the memories flooding my brain. It's funny how one's mind can betray itself. I couldn't remember simple things such as what food tasted like, yet I could clearly recount every single one of the emotions coursing through my body on the plane ride to Volterra. The crippling fear and gut wrenching anxiety had nearly made me sick and I could still feel every bit of it. As we stepped out of the shadows and into crowds, I relived it all. I walked with my coven but I did not see. Instead, my eyes watched Edward's form as I ran to him, screaming at the top of my lungs with everything I had in me so that Edward would stop what he was doing. He got bigger and bigger as I got closer and closer.

Seeing that pain in his eyes again caused my step to falter and I was snapped out of my trance. I heard Felix chuckle at my stumble but I chose to ignore it, to ignore him rather. I still couldn't tolerate his attention. I looked down to my left to see Jane still reading. Her hair was curled today and it bounced lightly as her shoulders shook with laughter. Her nose was still buried in her book, _Interview with the Vampire_. I studied her for a moment before her laughter turned violent and she nearly fell to the ground from her heaves.

"Oh..oh my God! Can you believe this crap? I mean, seriously. The public, so horribly ignorant, must suffer and believe this trash? Listen to this, Felix, listen... 'The vampire was utterly white and smooth, as if he were sculpted from bleached bone, and his face was as seemingly inanimate as a statue, except for two brilliant green eyes that looked down at the boy intently like flames in a skull.' A vampire with _green_ eyes!? What is this woman thinking? This..this..oh, what is her name?"

She looked at the binding of the tattered book and scoffed loudly.

"Anne Rice. Green eyes. A vampire with green eyes! This is what these humans are forced to read. Oh, wait..it gets better."

Her brilliant burgundy eyes scanned the pages for more of the entertaining theories the author had about vampires. My attention averted to my right where Felix was keeping stride. His gaze never shifted from our destination though the corners of his thin lips did tip up as Jane recited the quote in a mocking tone. Demetri shook his head almost imperceptibly, but he too kept his eyes set on our target and picked up his pace. With a sigh, I looked there as well and matched my stride to Demetri's so that we covered more ground in less time. My thoughts strayed from my mission yet again and Edward's pained expression flashed across my mind for a moment. Thankfully, no sooner had I thought of Edward before Jane spoke again. The relief that flooded through me was almost over whelming, though I deserved to feel pain.

"Here. 'Now, I'm getting into the coffin, and you will get in on top of me if you know what's good for you.' A coffin! Really? This woman thinks that I would get in a coffin! By choice! Absolutely ridiculous."

Felix snapped his head to the left and stared down at Jane, his face showing complete horror, his burgundy eyes wide as his eyebrows practically shot up past his hair line.

"Wait just a minute. They're gay?"

"Well, yes Felix. Have you not read this story before? Seen the movie?"

"No. I avoid these vampire stories at all costs. And now I know why!"

Jane smiled a wicked little grin and closed her book before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why, Felix. Are you offended by homosexuality?"

He rolled his burgundy eyes before flashing me a sickening grin.

"No, I am not. I just could not imagine being attracted to someone who was not as perfect as my Bella."

I grimaced. The only one who I would ever have a heart for was Edward, and he was gone. He had come to kill me months before and I was no longer wanted by him. I had to accept it, move on. Would I need to find another? My thoughts began to race as I thought of the possibilities. What if one day I cannot help but succumb to my grief and go find my Edward. I so desperately wanted to find him and hold him close to me. But I couldn't. It was too dangerous. He could not hurt me even if he tried. But the extent of the damage I could possibly inflict on him was horribly drastic. Perhaps I would need to find another, attempt to fill the void in my chest that Edward had once occupied. Never could I replace him or be completely satisfied. Yet, part of me hoped that I would be able to find someone that could at least partially entertain my loving side so that I may not be tempted to find Edward. I could only hope that it was possibly so that my love could exist with his family in peace.

"Oh shut up! The two of you are such children."

Demetri shook his head and took the lead as we reached the edge of a heavily wooded stretch of land, opening up his stride into a full run. We all followed suit, me directly behind him with Felix and Jane close at my heels. We sped through the forest, dodging trees and leaping over streams. As we ran, I began to prepare myself and started channeling my emotions. I sorted through them, theoretically discarding them as if they could simply be thrown away. I picked through each one and assessed how I was feeling. Nervousness was the most dominant of them all and it took a lot of effort for me to push that one aside. Though, after I did it, the anger I would need seemed more within reach. I was not very mad so I had to draw it out of myself, pick it up and pull it to the surface so that I would have an easier time of snapping into it once I was within reach of my target.

The only dwelling anger I had left in me was directed at myself. The self hatred I had and resentment towards the maturing period of my power was what I used to become the 'killing machine' Aro so loved. He had told me the other day that my maturing period was nearing its end, that I would be completely mature in two weeks. It scared me to think that what I possessed was not yet at its fullest potential. I still had more to grow. Once I had that taken care of, I let my instincts take over and I started to size up our competition.

With the wind came many different scents but I was rather good at sorting through them quickly. I ignored the animal and human scents and focused in on the scent of the vampire. I quickly identified five different beings. Jane, Demetri, Felix, and myself were all the first to come to me. Then the wind changed and the fifth was stronger than our own. It smacked me in the face and forced me to stop in my tracks. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tightly as I picked out the different qualities to this vampire's odor.

"Isabella."

Demetri stopped beside me as Jane and Felix went wide and scoped out the area surrounding us. I shook my head to silence him and squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. I felt him take a step closer and heard the rustling of his cloak as he waited impatiently.

"What is it, Isabella?"

I sighed and shook my head as if to rid my nose of the scent.

"It is a male. Large, though not as large as Felix. He is about one hundred yards East. He drinks human blood. That is all I can get. I'm sorry."

"No, that will do, Isabella."

As I finished speaking, I felt my temperament begin to shift and I locked on to the scent. I hadn't planned on changing so soon but my alter ego had other plans. Demetri sensed my personality shift and went wide with Jane. Every single one of my muscles became taught as iron and went rigid. My head shook furiously from side to side while I exhaled roughly through my nose. And I was no longer Bella. Rage pumped through my veins at an alarming rate and I was livid. At nothing, of course, but I could only think of destroying this male that I was sent to kill. I did not want to simply kill him. I felt the urge to tear muscle away from bone and dismember him slowly as if to draw out the pain. After my fights, I was always disgusted with myself for the desire I had to so brutally kill and destroy my opponents. However, the need to act this way was unfortunately much stronger than the self loathing that would come later. Now I understood why Edward had hated himself so.

As if set on a timer, I pivoted on my left foot and darted East, following the trail with my nose in the air. Jane had referred to it as my "blood hound" look, but it was effective. I came to a halt after only a second and stared straight ahead. There, in plain sight, stood the male. He was indeed as large as I thought he was. 6'4 and only slightly more narrow than Emmett. He had dark hair that was cropped short and sort of disheveled, purposefully. And I wanted to kill him. The second he set his eyes on me he stiffened, and I watched as his body trembled for a moment. I crouched low in my normal stance and watched as he did the same. So he was going to try and fight back? Fool. And just like every time, I cried out to my opponent. I took a deep breath, though mine was unnecessary. I exhaled. My roar ripped through my chest, tore out my throat, and shredded through my lips. I felt the ground tremble beneath me as I put everything I had into my announcement. He wanted to play? _Let's play. _

My opponent paced forward and then stopped, putting only twenty feet between us, before he crouched just as I had. His broad chest heaved suddenly as he took in a deep breath. He expelled the air, but with the breath came a deep, bellowing roar. It was angry, serious, and threatening. To anyone else, including a few of my family members, this would have been the perfect time to back out. His battle cry hit me like a brick wall. I had never been challenged back before by another vampire. Why did he respond with an act identical to mine? Others knew that I was no normal vampire and they fled. This one was different. He was engaging me, egging me on. As if agreeing silently, we both sprang up and collided in a fury of snarls and teeth. I saw nothing as we fought for dominance. First I had him pinned beneath me but no sooner had I done so when he leaped up and landed with me flat on my back beneath his weight. I pushed and pulled with all of my strength but it seemed to get me nowhere. I was beyond frustrated and tried to drag out more of my anger to propel myself forward.

We danced like this for minutes before finally by some unexplainable force, we stopped. It was as if somebody had flipped a switch and we were turned off. We stood before eachother, neither of us looking the least bit disheveled. My chest heaved slightly from exsasperation not exhaustion and I stared at him. We watched each other with sheer fascination, circling each other while scanning from head to toe. Who was this vampire and why couldn't I kill him? How did my anger switch off so easily? Why wasn't I angry at him? Why was he stronger than my killing machine? Who is he? I could not wrap my mind around it and I needed to stop. I shook my head and stepped out of our little circle, looking to Jane and Demetri as they too seemed as confused as I was. Why did Aro say that I was the only one who should fight him? Aro knew that this man would be able to stop me?

"What is this?"

I pointed behind me at the male standing there, even more awkwardly confused than my coven and me. Neither Demetri nor Jane had an answer for me. Instead, Jane grabbed my arm and pulled me forward so that I stood between her and Demetri. Felix came to stand beside Jane. He had the nerve to speak. Good thing because we were all rendered speechless by this anomally. There was supposed to be nothing that could stop me once I set my mind to kill it. This male proved that theory wrong.

"What are you?"

We stared intently at the vampire with bright red eyes and waited.

"Well, I should ask you the same thing! And the question is 'Who AM I', not 'What' am I. Rude. My name is Sean."

He practically shouted at us despite the fact that we could hear a heartbeat just as clearly as one could with a stethoscope. He had a thick Irish accent and a grovely voice that sounded as if he smoked three packs of cigarettes a day, if he could smoke.

"I was just hunting, minding my own business. And what do I find, a damn coven coming to kill me. If you don't want me around here, all you had to do was say so. Christ."

I was furious again, though not so much that it took over.

"Why couldn't I kill you?"

"Well I fought back, Girly. It's not like I was just going to let you. WHO are _you_?"

"But how? You can't. You're not supposed to be able to. I should have killed you!"

"Listen, Girly, I don't know how you normally fight but where I come from, a fight isn't a fight unless both parties are a little ticked off. Now, you got me pretty ticked off, so I fought back. I have to say, I have never lost before. And I'm not saying I lost now, but I never lose."

He'd be a good one for Emmett. The thickness of his Irish accent made his speech barely understandable but I picked up almost every word. He dusted off his jacket and shook his head before running his fingers through his dark hair, looking rather annoyed. Shouldn't he be afriad of us? Who was this? Jane composed herself and took command of the situation.

"You. You're coming with us."

"Uh huh, sure I am. And where would this be?"

"Aro, Caius, and Marcus need to see you."

He froze for a moment, as if taking all of us in and then stepped backward with a shocked expression. Yeah, now he got it.

"You're the Volturi. And you're the new one."

He pointed at me and shook his head.

"I knew it was true. You're the one they say can't be stopped. Districtus Affectus Imperium."

He stepped forward then, coming at us. Without even thinking, we all took a step back. Whatever this thing was, he was able to stop me and we didn't like it. 'The one they say can't be stopped.' Exactly. Why could he stop me? What was wrong with him? Demetri and Felix stepped forward and grabbed an arm each. Aro would know what to do with him.

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	8. Please read :

OK, I'm sorry this isn't a chapter but it is incredibly important. My beta is gone for six weeks on vacation so that leaves me without one. I refuse to put out a chapter that hasn't been beta'd. So consider this a wanted ad! I need a beta! If anyone would be interested, I'd really appreciate it. Unfortunately you do not get another update until I get a beta. Sorry guys but I just will not put something up if it is not edited :(

Thanks!


	9. Chapter 7

**Special thanks to luv2beloved, who beta'ed this chapter :)**

For the hundredth time, Aro asked me to sit down. But I couldn't. I paced the room like a mental patient, nervously biting my knuckles as if that could help solve my problem. It terrified me to think that there was something else out there that could rival my strength, possibly even surpass it. I was told it was impossible and now I was doing laps around the cold dungeon, subconsciously circling the chair that Sean was sitting in lazily in the center of the room. He sat there, so nonchalant, completely bored with the situation. His arms were folded loosely across his chest and he had his legs stretched out in front of him, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"For Christ's sake, will you stop it? I'm beginning to get dizzy here and that's not easy for a vampire to do."

He huffed for the thousandth time. Who the hell did he think he is? He _huffed _at me! The anger was starting to boil inside of me and I could feel the acidic waves lap at the insides of my stomach. Everything about him annoyed me. Was he so arrogant that he thought I cared about what he had to say? Even his accent bothered me, dug under my skin and pricked me with every syllable. I knew it was ridiculous but I drew strength from his shortcomings. Were they even shortcomings? Probably not. But I needed him to be flawed. I couldn't cope if he was perfect and indestructibly. I gave up and stopped then turned to stand before Aro, Marcus, and Caius. My eyebrows shot up in question, begging them for an explanation or at least their thoughts.

"Can you _move_? You're in my way, damn it."

The little hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the sound of his voice. Oh, he was asking for it. I whipped my head around and looked back at him over my shoulder.

"Do you want to die, leprechaun?"

He snorted and shook his head. I refused to accept that I couldn't kill him. I certainly wouldn't allow him the pleasure of knowing it, either. Felix and Jane were in the room with us as well. I could feel their tension from where I stood and I knew Sean was getting on their last nerve. I stepped aside but still remained a few feet in front of Sean. There was no way I would stand beside him and let him be my equal. Caius appeared as if he was going to explode with anger. His papery thin skin was taught against the tendons of his slender neck as he strained to keep control.

"If you would stop acting like children, we may continue. Now, Isabella, you must know that we sent you after Mr. Hannigan for a reason. It was not unbeknown to us that you two share a power."

Each word he spat at us was drenched in loathing and frustration. My eyes widened in shock. We had the same power? How was that possible? I had always been told I was unique and that made me even more dangerous. I didn't know what to think. Was that good? Bad? Apparently Sean wasn't too elated with the idea because he scoffed and stood, standing beside me to challenge Caius. _Moron. _

"First, Mr. Hannigan was my father. So Sean, please. Second, no way is Girly here like me. I'm one of a kind. A pure Irish miracle, I'll have you know. And what is my power called? Disaster somethin'?"

By the time he was done with his little rant, Felix and Jane were at our sides and on their toes. They didn't take it lightly when someone posed a threat to the coven. It was silly, really, that they felt the need to defend Aro and his brothers. They were possibly deadlier than I was. Marcus and Aro remained silent while Caius responded.

"_Sean_, I suggest you sit back down. Bella, you and Sean share the same power. We sent you after him because there was no way we could bring him back here without you. He is still as fascinating to us as you are and just as valuable. This matter has been discussed thoroughly and Sean will be joining us so that we may learn from him. About the power, of course."

"Well, what if I don't want to stay here?"

I looked over at him and sighed, shaking my head. Like he had a choice. Felix wrapped his long, deceptively strong fingers around Sean's left bicep. He squeezed firmly and jerked him backwards.

"I think we've heard enough from you, no?"

Jane and Felix dragged him back to the entrance of the room _kindly _showing him out into the hall. I was left alone with the brothers and I was still confused. Why was he necessary? Why wasn't I good enough for the Volturi? Hell, I was a Volturi! I couldn't help the small huff that escaped my lips in anger. One of the corners of Aro's lips tilted up slightly. I was glad I could amuse him.

"My dear Isabella, please be hospitable. Sean is far more valuable than you know, both to you and to the rest of us. He is just as strong as you are and he is a strong asset. He will be a part of this coven, despite his reluctance."

It was a firm command, not a request that I accept Sean. Aro was always partial to me but I knew when I was pushing my luck. I ducked my head and turned on my heel, following the group out the door. We soon reached Sean's new bedroom, conveniently located right next to mine. _Fantastic._ I didn't feel the need to show him in; I figured Felix was more than fit for the job. Instead, I kept walking and went through my own door. The familiar scents and sights of the room calmed me and I finally felt I could relax and wrap my mind around the day. Was it that I feared him? No, if we had the same limitations there was no way he could kill me. Theoretically, we would be in constant battle until the end of time.

I stared at the ceiling above me, counting the dips and curves that the shadows created by the lace canopy that was draped over my bed. They appeared to be faces mocking me while I fought the onslaught of daggers that I imposed on myself with various thoughts. I let out an exasperated sigh and rolled over onto my stomach. Being dead was far more complicated than it had seemed only two years ago. Then again, death itself is a complicated theory. What does it mean to be truly dead?

If my heart beat was to be the deciding factor, then I was the definition of dead. But can something without life still feel? Because if that is the case, then I do not fit the bill. I still feel despite my best efforts. Every single day I walk through the shadows with a throbbing pain in my chest as if I had a collapsed lung or punctured heart. I had no heart beat and no blood coursed through my veins but my heart was very much so alive and it ached for one thing. Edward.

I needed, no, craved the feeling of his smooth skin beneath my fingertips, the scent of his breath as it lingered around my nose. The way a lock of his wayward hair, bronze highlights illuminated in the sunlight, would fall across his forehead. My fingers danced on the comforter as I thought about it. I needed to feel him, even if for only a moment. I craved him the way a heroin addict craved a fix. Just the thought of his crooked smile made my insides flutter. Is this what death feels like? This is what it means to be dead?

My dead heart still had the ability to be completely in love with Edward Cullen, my husband. The extent of my love for him could never be described thoroughly as there are no words strong enough. In turn, this love also gave me the strength to leave him for his own good. I could now completely understand why Edward had left me before. I needed to save him from myself. And that is exactly what I was doing. Edward seemed to be helping, though. He waited every day for me to get even for what I had done to Alice. So then who was I protecting?

By the time I had finished with my internal battles and revelations, my shoulders were shaking with my dry sobs. The pain I should technically not be feeling was too much to bear and it racked through my body, destroying me from the inside out. To be no longer feeling would surely be more enjoyable than life on this Earth without Edward Cullen by my side. Yet, I couldn't decide if I would rather not feel or accept the fact that I am so horribly and pathetically in love that it hurts to even blink without him near me. To be in love is a precious and irreplaceable feeling. Do I embrace it, or end my suffering? Ending it would be far easier. I would barely have to leave my own house. The sobs that racked my body were interrupted by the creak of my door opening. I stiffened.

"Hey, Girly? You alright in here? I'm trying to sleep and all I can hear is your blubbering."

The nickname gave away the visitor's identity, but even if he hadn't used it, the thick Irish accent with which he spoke would have identified him regardless. I sighed and sat up, my back still to the door. _What a charmer_._ And he's got a sense of humor_. This guy was making it way too easy for me to hate him. My eyes weren't blotchy or wet yet I dabbed at them like a self conscious teenager caught crying over a boyfriend. Well, I wasn't too far off. Satisfied with my appearance, I turned on the bed and faced Sean. I managed a small smile and shook my head.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

His eyes softened at my answer and he just snorted, walking further into my room then closing the door behind him. He made his way to my bed with a cocky swagger. It's understandable that he can be so cocky considering there was only one other being on the planet that could stop him. The bed sank beneath his weight and his eyes bore down into mine.

"I may not be Romeo, but I know when a girl isn't happy. Whoever you're crying about isn't worth your time if they make you feel that way. I also know that about 99.9% of the time when a girl cries, it's over a male."

_Oh, if he only knew. _I shook my head and looked down at my comforter, embarrassed. He used a voice that was foreign to me, as I hadn't had a normal conversation with him yet. It was softer, understanding maybe. I would surely be blushing if I was still human. He placed a crooked finger beneath my chin and tilted my head up to meet his eyes.

"I'm serious, Isabella. If he makes you cry he isn't good enough for you. He must be a fool if he thinks he can hurt you."

I met his gaze and let out a silent gasp. He was looking at me with such an intensity that I couldn't help but stare back. The sincerity in his words was written across his burgundy eyes and I found myself lost in them. I soon grew uncomfortable though, and I fought to break our staring contest. I sighed and smiled slightly.

"Thanks, Sean. You're really sweet, but it's far more complicated than you know. I'm fine, really."

He gave me a cocky smirk that matched his swagger and he shrugged.

"Well, alright then. But listen, Girly, you're my new friend and I don't let my friends get hurt. You let me know when this fool comes around. I'll take care of him for you. And trust me, I'm not a fool. I would never hurt you."

Sean winked a twinkling eye and ruffled the hair on top of my head, then walked back out of my room. Great. First Felix, and now Sean. _Oh boy. Another complication in my life. _But then, what is a life?

**Please review! I'm not getting very much feedback and it does do a number on my motivation. I need to know what you all think!**


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